Breath of Life Part II
by Nimmy II
Summary: A tale of Vincent and Cid's jorney through danger, pain, love, loss and redemption.
1. Afraid

Breath of Life, Part II

"I love you," Cid whispered then.

But as I smiled back at him, the first inkling of something huge dawned on me. Like a tiny black crack in an otherwise flawless porcelain vase.

I stared at the space in-between us, as the crack slowly got larger, and the inkling grew into a thought.

Along with Sephiroth and Meteor... Jenova had been destroyed.

And the Jenova cells that had been planted into people... couldn't survive without the mother organism...

So what would happen to the ones whom Jenova cells were keeping alive..? 

Like me....?

I looked into Cid's eyes. The thought hadn't occurred to him. 

"Vin... we got our happy ending after all, didn't we?" He asked gently, sliding a hand down my face softly.     

Horror struck me. 

Why had I never realised this before? I'd felt so weak after we'd fought for the last time in the crater, but I figured it was just fatigue... was I really going to...?

"Vin, what's wrong?" Cid asked, smiling at me.

I looked into his eyes, and I think he saw the dread in them.

"...Vin..?"

My poor love, I thought... How am I going to tell you this...?

~~~~~~~ 

"Vincent, just tell me what's going on! What are you talking about?! Tell me for @#$%'s sake!"

Vincent looked into Cid's eyes and saw the fear. Did he know?

He didn't know for sure what it was.

But when Cid looked into Vincent's eyes there was something... something...

Cid froze.

No!

Vincent lowered his eyes. "It was bound to happen."

No! 

Cid couldn't move a muscle.

Vincent continued, his head hanging almost sadly, he couldn't look Cid in the eyes. "Jenova is destroyed. Her cells were keeping me alive. I probably don't have long."

"NO!!" Cid shouted, and grabbed Vincent by the shoulders, making the dark haired man stare back into the pilot's eyes. "That's @#$%ing bullshit! It's BULLSHIT!!"

Vincent shook his head slowly, looking into Cid's eyes, that were close to shedding tears. But Cid was acting angrily, it was the way he reacted to things. It wasn't really what he felt inside, and Vincent just let Cid shake him and swear and scream at him until he quietened down.

"...no..." Cid ended, his voice almost trembling. "It... it can't be true, Vin. We stopped the evil @#$%ers for god's sake! It.. can't happen... You can't leave me, not now..." Cid slid slowly to his knees, his hands still clutching loosely at Vincent's clothing, and began to shake with silent sobs. 

Vincent's face was a mask of pain as he looked down with compassion at the man kneeling at his feet.

This was the first time he had ever seen Cid this devastated...

He gathered Cid's head to his body and cradled it to him, silently comforting as Cid's tears at last broke free and ran down his soot-smeared face.

"I had considered not telling him... just taking off when the time came for me to go... then maybe he'd be angry with me and hate me. Better that than him having to watch me deteriorate and eventually...

But it wouldn't be right. He couldn't hate me, I know. He'd at least know that I love him if I stay. I couldn't lie to him..."

...................................

"It's been a while since we all got off the Highwind. Midgar was in a very bad state, and people have begun to start some semblance of order, and rebuild their homes. Barret, Tifa and Cloud have gone back to help. Cait Sith... I don't know what happened to Reeve. Perhaps he was one of the casualties of the Meteor before the Lifestream came. I can't remember seeing Cait Sith in the commotion. Yuffie went home to her father in Wutai. That place is so far away from all the trouble. They're lucky there...

Red XIII assumedly returned to his home in Cosmo Canyon to take care of the duties left him since Bugenhagen returned to the Planet.

As for Cid and I...

He at first insisted that we go immediately to Nibelheim, to the laboratory...

He wanted to find a way to preserve my life as Hojo did once. Of course, there was no more Jenova to take cells from anymore, so he couldn't even if I'd let him. I told him firmly that Hojo's acts were not done out of love, they were done out of hate and cruelty. 

I couldn't seem to explain to my poor love that I...

...I would rather die than be trapped inside this body. I hadn't been able to die before, and now I was finally going to be free...

He became angry with me. He wouldn't talk to me for hours, as we made our way to rocket town.

Even as we arrived in the house, he stormed into the kitchen and sat on his chair, slamming his boots onto the table.

I couldn't help but smile, in spite of myself. This was just like when I saw him for the very first time. Do you remember me telling you? I laid my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off, ignoring me.

It hurt. I knew he didn't mean it, but...

Shera walked in. 

"Captain! You're home! And Vincent!" She smiled at us and hurried over, asking all sorts of questions, if we were all right and that she had heard all about the incidents at Midgar on the news. It had taken us a couple of days to get to rocket town, after all.

"Shut the @#$% up, Shera!" Cid snapped at her, stopping her dead, the smile freezing on her face. 

"I'm sorry!" She muttered. "I'll make some tea, shall I?" She quietly went over to the side to prepare tea.

"Yeah, you better make the @#$%in' tea, you lazy piece of shit!" He barked.

I looked over at her and saw her shoulders trembling. I went over purposefully and took the kettle gently from her hands and proceeded to make tea myself. I knew it was making Cid angry but I didn't care. 

He didn't say one word to me still, not even to shout. I heard Shera run upstairs.

There must have been silence for twenty minutes, as the two of us sat at the table. The atmosphere was like lead. Just like the first time... it was so strange... I almost expected to see Cloud's familiar face if I should turn to my left.

"I'm calling up the doctor from Mideel." Cid said shortly, after what seemed an age. It wasn't merely a statement, it was a statement with a threat behind it if it was disagreed with.

"There's no point, Cid." I murmured, nursing my cup.

He suddenly smashed his gloved fist hard upon the table, almost knocking over his cup. "I thought you'd gotten out of that kinda state of mind! There's always hope! Always!!" He shouted. With that, he stood up and went to the phone. 

He rang the doctor in Mideel. Of course, he was a specialist doctor that dealt with rare and fatal conditions - he had cared for Cloud while he had severe Mako poisoning. I listened to the conversation.

I picked up from what I heard that the doctor must have been reluctant to come all this way, but this was Cid Highwind he was talking to. The man had never heard of the word "no".

The doctor was due to arrive in four days. I stayed downstairs when Cid hung up the phone and stormed up to his room.

I sat in silence for a few minutes, unsure of what to do or say. What could you say to a man with such heartbreakingly hopeless determination? I couldn't bear it. I had to at least make peace with him.

As I climbed the stairs slowly and put my hand to the door handle, I expected a barrage of shouts, insults, maybe even projectiles such as boots being hurled at me.

He was crying.

He was sitting on his little single bed with his knees curled up and his head buried, weeping freely.

I couldn't bear it. I rushed over and sat next to him, holding him tight, rocking with him.

"Vin, look, I swear - you'll be fine. I - I called the doc from Mideel, he'll be here soon. I'm telling ya, there's not a @#$%ing thing in the world that he can't cure."

He can't cure death, I thought...

"Cid." I took his face between my hands and looked deep into his red, teary eyes. This was horrible. "Cid, whatever happens, I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Understand?"

Cid's face crumpled even further, tears running down his face and he shook his head. "Don't, don't talk like that! I can't @#$%ing stand it! I just can't! I just can't..." He sobbed and his face fell forward onto my chest. I kissed his hair and held him, not knowing what else to do.

I woke the next morning curled up with Cid, we'd fallen asleep as I held him that night. I carefully untangled myself and sat up, looking at his peaceful sleeping face. I wished that he could wake up and find it was all a dream. He'd think it was, at first... a nasty dream that he would wake up from into my arms.

But it wasn't. I felt strange... light-headed, nauseous...

I got up from the bed and my head was spinning. I was going to be sick... I hastened to the bathroom and heaved over the toilet, but I wasn't expecting what I saw.

Blood... I was vomiting blood. I wretched and brought up a second lot, before going back into the bedroom. My head was whirling. I held my hand to my temple and shakily sat down upon a chair."

######

Cid opened his eyes slowly, still encased in the blissful ignorance of sleep. As his sight blearily focused and his mind came to, he made out the shape of Vincent sitting on a chair at the far end of the room, holding his head. Cid groggily wondered what he was doing, then the reality of wakefulness rushed in on him and he remembered everything, like a kick to the stomach. He sat up immediately, and Vincent raised his head to meet Cid's gaze, smiling as best he could.

"Ah, you're awake. I was wondering when you'd wake up. What would you like for breakfast?" He stood up and made for the door, a little less than effortlessly.

Cid caught his arm as he went to pass him and stared almost accusingly up at Vincent. Vincent met his gaze with an expression of near guilt.

"Vin... are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Why is there blood on your lips?"

Vincent froze and touched his lips, looking at the dark red stain on them when he pulled them back again. "Nothing. Like I said, I'm fine. Let's go downstairs." He went to leave again but Cid tightened his grip on Vincent's arm.

"Vin, you @#$%ing TELL me if there's anything wrong! No secrets, we promised! Don't you remember?"

Vincent closed his eyes. He did remember... "I... vomited a little blood this morning. But don't worry," He added quickly as Cid jumped up with an exclamation. "I'm fine."

"Don't @#$%ing worry?! You say you're vomiting blood and you tell me not to worry?!? The hell with that!! Why can't that @#$%ing doctor get here sooner..." Cid yelled and went across the room, pulling on his goggles.

"What are you doing?" Vincent asked. 

"I'm @#$%ing taking you there my @#$%ing self! Come on!" He commanded, taking the taller man's arm and pulling him along as they went downstairs and straight out of the door. Cid had hardly been awake for a few moments and he was going to fly the Highwind.

"Come on! The quicker we get you there, the quicker we can get you fixed up!"

###

I hung my head as I let myself be pulled onboard into the cockpit. The quicker to get me fixed up...? Perhaps we should go... but rather because it will be the quicker he realises it's no use. It felt so wrong to be trying to take away his hope, especially after he had given me mine... he had breathed life into me and now I was drawing it out of him as mine was extinguished. Love is much more cruel than hate. Hate is blunt, brief. Instant. Love kills you slowly after showing you pure happiness then wrenching it away...

###

The Highwind landed just outside Mideel, and the two disembarked, making their way into the village proper. The clinic had been rebuilt in the three weeks they had last seen it, although not yet finished completely.

Silently, the two entered the small building and the doctor immediately recognised them. "Hello! Why I recognise you. You're the ones who came to visit young Mr Strife when he had Mako Poisoning."

"Yeah, that's us." Said Cid, waving his hand dismissively. "Look Doc, we couldn't wait for you to come to Rocket Town, this is urgent!"

"I see," Said the doctor, taking off his glasses for a moment to polish them with a cloth from his pocket before putting them back on. "That's understandable, I realise that this is an urgent case. Would you care to explain the situation in more detail?"

Cid nodded. "This is Vin..." He gestured to Vincent, who was standing somewhat apart from them, looking at the floor and his face looked pained. "I told you last night that he's sick, and this morning he brought up blood."

The doctor looked at him. "I gathered from what you said on the telephone that he'd been reanimated with Jenova cells in the past, when he'd been... well, anyway. The Jenova inside him shouldn't ..." The doctor stopped, was silent for a moment, then took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I see."

Cid was looking intently into the doctor's face, still clinging onto his hope. "Well? What are you gonna do for him?"

The doctor put his glasses back again. "Well, I shall have to examine him first. I'll need to carry out a few tests. Is that all right?"

"Sure it is! Just do whatever you gotta do, doc!"

Vincent hung behind still, noting that no one asked his permission to do tests on him. He hated the thought of being tested on. Just like that time in the laboratory in the Shinra Mansion...

 "Mr Valentine? Would you care to come behind the screen?" The doctor pushed aside a green screen and motioned for Vincent to come.

Cid looked at Vincent and nodded once at him, begging him with his eyes to go along with it.

Vincent sighed and nodded quietly, brushing Cid's hand with his own as he made his way over to the chair behind the screen.

Cid waited outside the clinic, on the step. He went through half a packet of cigarettes as he waited for the tests to finish. He was going out of his head waiting for the doctor to come out, and his mind was running over all sorts of things, the worry was too much. 

Eventually the doctor emerged. Cid stood up. "Well? What's goin' on?" He demanded.

The doctor laid a hand on Cid's shoulder. "Please, Mr Highwind. Calm down. I conducted a blood test and a blood pressure test, the blood test results wont be in till tomorrow, I have to analyse it in the lab."

Cid grabbed at his hair. "@#$%ing TOMORROW?! I've been going out of my mind just waiting fifteen minutes!"

The doctor sighed, exasperated. "Please understand, analysing a blood sample is not a simple process, nor is it something that can be done quickly. I must wait until after surgery hours or it would not be fair on my other patients. I can however, tell you about the blood pressure test. Would you come inside and take a seat?"

Cid swore under his breath and they went back inside, to see Vincent sitting back in the main part of the surgery, clasping a cloth to the crook of his arm from the blood test. He looked up at Cid and smiled faintly. Cid sat down near him and looked at the doctor expectantly. "Well?"

The doctor sat down too. "Well, according to the blood pressure test, Mr Valentine's blood pressure is very low... I would say abnormally low. I haven't seen any as low as the count I just made."

Cid leaned forward in his chair. "Could it be a mistake? You sure the @#$%ing thing's working properly?"

"I'm afraid so, Mr Highwind. The apparatus is not digitalised like much equipment today. The pump blows up the band, which tightens around the patient's arm so much that it reads the pulse and affects the dial here," The doctor showed Cid the apparatus. "Which tells us the patient's blood pressure. It is a virtually dead accurate reading."

Cid struggled with his voice for a moment, shaking his head. "But, what do you mean, "abnormal"? I thought that high blood pressure was bad, not low!"

"Both high and low blood pressure are bad in different ways, Mr Highwind. Abnormally high blood pressure ( hypertension ) may be associated with various conditions or arise with no obvious cause;  abnormally low blood pressure (hypotension) occurs in  shock  and after excessive fluid or blood loss from any cause."

"Shock? I thought shock would cause high blood pressure!" Cid said.

"No, Mr Highwind you don't understand. In medicine, shock is circulatory failure marked by a sudden fall of blood pressure and resulting in pallor, fast (but weak) pulse, and sometimes complete collapse. Causes include disease, injury, and psychological trauma. The weak pulse gives the low blood pressure reading."

"Oh..." Cid looked at Vincent. Vincent was always pale, so it was hard to say if that was a symptom... but his pulse was quite weak according to the test.

The doctor stood up. "Well, I suggest that you stay in Mideel for the night, and I shall give you the blood test results first thing tomorrow."

####

The day we waited was agony. Agony for Cid because he was so worried about me, and agony for me to see him like that. I tried to take his mind off it, by talking to him about other things as we spent the day in the peaceful hot springs town. We took a look around, seeing how the repairs were going. The people of Mideel were made of hardy stuff.

I know that Cid was making an effort to be normal, even under all his worries and fears... He must have wondered why I wasn't worried too. But I wasn't worried, I was certain. I knew that no matter the result of the blood test, or anything that the doctor would try to do for me wouldn't work. 

I had felt myself weaken slowly ever since Holy emerged from the North Crater. I still felt a little ill from that morning, although the nausea had gone. 

I admit that I felt a little frightened at the prospect of getting worse, deteriorating right before Cid's eyes... I would have preferred it to be quick. But it would be an end, whichever way. Finally, freedom from this body...

I looked at Cid as we sat in our room in the newly built inn. But what about him...

I had been thinking of my end as an escape from this life that went so badly wrong, the grateful end to a tragic tale...

But what about Cid?

He would be alone... I would leave him alone, abandoning him to his grief. It would be a sin.

But it was unavoidable now. 

I only hoped that he would forgive me.


	2. Sliding

Hiya, I know, it's a real short chappie compared to the last one, but I prefer good chapter endings to having a set length to 'em. Plus, it's not like ya have ta wait fer months to read the next bit, as it was all finished (well, almost) by the time I started to put up Part two. Hee hee.  

####

The next morning, Cid woke up and immediately went over to Vincent, still asleep in his bed.

He smiled faintly and brushed a strand of ebony hair away from his closed eyes. He frowned when he felt the damp on Vincent's forehead. He was sweating...

"Vince..." Cid said gently, shaking Vincent's shoulder slightly. "Vince, are you okay?" 

Vincent's crimson eyes opened slowly, and there was a faint shadow around them. "Mm.. Cid?" He whispered as he came to. He made a low sound in his throat and groaned, turning his head to the side.

"My head... hurts..." He muttered.

"Hey, you'll be okay once you're up. Come on, lets get some breakfast in you then we can get the test results from the doc."

Vincent felt ill at the thought of food, but sat up, holding his head. "Okay."

Cid made sure Vincent was okay before pulling on his jacket, pants and boots then going into reception to wait for him.

Vincent dressed slowly, the headache slowly wearing off. It seemed to be worse in the mornings for some reason. After he was ready, he made his way to Cid in the reception, and they left the inn.

"Cid, do you mind if I skip breakfast?" Vincent murmured.

They stopped and Cid reached out and squeezed Vincent's arm. "I know, you want the results, huh? Let's go there first, then." He said quietly, with a kind face.

Vincent nodded. It was the easy option, rather than worrying Cid unnecessarily. 

They approached the clinic. Upon entering the small building, they found the doctor at his desk, the nurse perusing through files in a cabinet behind the desk.

The doctor looked up at them, removing his glasses.

"Ah, there you are. Please, take a seat." He looked at the nurse. "Sister, would you mind taking care of some business in the next room, please?"

The nurse nodded. "Of course, doctor." She smiled softly at Cid and Vincent before exiting the room.

The doctor sighed, looking at his hands, clasped upon his desk. He chewed his lip slightly under his grey moustache. "I have the results of the blood test I conducted yesterday on Mr Valentine." He said after a moment, followed by a pause long enough to make Cid speak out.

"Well?" Cid leaned forward.

Vincent lowered his head and sighed quietly.

"It was a result I had not encountered before, though it was clear what some of the problems were. Anaemia, anoxaemia, and hypoglycaemia amongst other lesser conditions were present in the sample, which is highly irregular... I couldn't understand why all of these things had begun to happen at once, and there was an abnormally low level of  erythrocyte red blood cells. I took the sample immediately to the microbiologist." He paused, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

Vincent felt Cid's grip on his arm tighten. 

"And?" Cid managed quietly from his tightened throat.

"I'm sorry." Said the doctor quietly, looking at Vincent. "You have advanced multi-cellular apoptosis..."

"And what the @#$% is that?!" Cid yelled. "Speak English! What does it mean?"

"I'm sorry. I'll explain. Living organisms expend large amounts of energy preventing their complex molecules from breaking up; cellular repair and replacement are vital processes in multicellular organisms. When Mr Valentine was injected with cells from the Jenova organism he was clinically dead, and the cells reanimated his own cells, falsely rejuvenating them with Jenova's alien circulatory haemoglobin. This is why he "came back to life" in his altered form, for the alien cells altered his DNA pattern." He paused, to let Cid soak in what he was being told. "Jenova cells are what we call parent-dependant cells, which means that they maintain a connection to the main organism from which they originate, even if they have been introduced to a foreign circulatory system. If the mother-organism dies, the daughter-cells cannot survive, and apoptosis occurs. Apoptosis is cell-suicide, the cells self-destruct."

Vincent looked thoughtfully at the doctor, somewhere in him appreciating an explanation of what had been happening to his poor body for all of these years.

Cid shook his head. "But why has it made him ill? He should get better without those bastard Jenova cells infecting him!"

"You don't understand..." The doctor was distressed at having to spell it out so plainly to Cid. It wasn't that Cid really didn't understand; he didn't _want_ to understand. It was denial. "Mr Valentine was dead when the cells were injected into him. The cells were responsible for making his own cells continue to function. Without them..."

"I will die." Vincent finished.

Cid spun in his seat and stared at Vincent's turned away face, his face a portrait of hurt and disbelief.

"No!"

"I told you already, Cid." Vincent said.   

He'd had hope, even until then. Poor Cid. There was nothing to be done, no doctor or microbiologist in the world could stop it.

"But you could have a huge blood transfusion! Replace the dying cells with new ones!" Cid cried desperately.

"No, Mr Highwind..." The doctor said, sadly. "You must understand, cell-production has irreversibly ceased. The new blood cells would begin to decompose and remain un-replaced as soon as they entered his body. Not just his blood cells are affected, but every single cell in his body is going to fail!"

Cid, who had stood up from his chair, stood stock-still for a moment before collapsing heavily back into it again, his eyes glazed over as his resistance finally gave in to the truth. Bitter reality flooded his heart and he could not move.  

Vincent closed his eyes and laid his hand on Cid's arm. Strange, he was the one who was dying and he was comforting Cid.

******

"I thought he could save you..." Cid whispered later, sitting in his armchair back in the house at rocket town. He had been quiet and despondent ever since he had realised that Vincent really was going to die.

Silence, apart from the ticking of the clock.

"I know." Vincent replied, sighing. "I... don't know what to say to you..."

"How long?" Cid asked quietly, his voice stiff.

"What?" Vincent asked.

"How long have we got?"

Vincent stood and knelt beside Cid's chair, clasping his hand in his own. "I don't know. But we should make the best of what we have, shouldn't we?" He stroked Cid's hand.

Cid slowly looked at Vincent's hand caressing his own, comforting. Why? Why?

"Why aren't you angry? Why aren't you afraid?" Cid whispered, tears forming in his eyes. He looked at Vincent with such pain in his eyes that Vincent felt like he'd hurt him merely by speaking soft words of comfort.

"I... " He smiled. "Since you taught me love, you've never taught me those other things. I can't be afraid because I have you."

A tear rolled down Cid's face, it crumpled as he spoke. "But soon, _I_ won't have _you_... you're leaving me..."

"Cid..." Vincent pulled the pilot into a tight embrace. "You will always have me. I will always be with you, no matter what happens... remember that! I love you so much,...  you'll never be alone."

The words were sweet and they cut Cid like silver-gilded knives.

Because alone was exactly what he was going to be.


	3. Loss

The worst chapter. If there are any typos or anything in this bit, I'm sorry, but I just can't proof read it. I can't. I'm such a wuss.

Oh, and you angst whores out there? NOW would be a good time to play My Immortal by Evanescence. Oh yeah, and make sure you dispose of any razor blades/pills lying around. Hehe. ^_^;

~~~~~~~~

A month passed, and Vincent slowly deteriorated. Neither of them understood why it was taking so long, but they felt blessed with each new morning that they were able to hold each other one more time.

Soon, Vincent could only walk with the aid of crutches as his muscle fibre was weakening, but he made the most of what mobility he still had. Eating was difficult as he found it increasingly hard to keep food down without vomiting. 

His lungs had started to fill with fluid and he often coughed up lumps of clotting blood.

Despite all this, Cid found him still more cheerful than before that rainy day in Gongaga, so long ago... when Aeris was still alive. 

Cid tried so hard to be brave in front of Vincent, he couldn't show the fear and pain he held inside, though he was sure Vincent was able to see it. Vincent was special that way.

Vincent acted brave for Cid, too. 

He had to admit to himself the fear he felt, too. He didn't think that he would be frightened when he was first diagnosed, but now he was. He only felt safe in Cid's arms.

Poor Cid never felt safe. Whenever he sat by Vincent's bedside while he slept, every now and then he would check that Vincent's chest was still rising and falling. Constantly afraid that he would leave him without saying one last goodbye...

He cried a lot. Shera saw him sometimes, sitting in the kitchen, sobbing like a child when Vincent was resting upstairs. He never cried in front of Vincent.

If he saw Shera when he was crying, he would yell at her, tell her to leave him alone.   

She did as she was told, but she understood well enough why he got so mad. He was afraid.

Shera felt sad, too. She had really gotten to know Vincent in the month he had stayed with them, and she knew all about his and the captain's relationship. Vincent had a good, kind soul, and he lit up the captain's heart...Which was also a reason as to why she felt for them so much. The pain they must be feeling is unconceivable, she often thought. They needed each other so much.

Both of them finally found love with each other after each being so lonely and hurt, then tragedy like this tearing them away from each other... and what greater barrier was there than death?

Their old Avalanche team members, even Yuffie and Cait Sith came to visit when they heard, and Vincent made sure he looked his utmost whenever they came round, not wanting to look ill in front of his old friends.

They were all so kind... He saw tears in Tifa's eyes. She was losing another friend, as were they all... first Aeris, and now...

None of them liked to talk about it. They always spoke of other things, like recent developments in Midgar and Cosmo Canyon, Marlene's grades at school, jokes, stories and news of other places they had visited once.

Cloud had changed in the time Vincent had seen him last; his eyes didn't glow anymore and he seemed more... human. The Jenova had left him, too, but he had been alive when injected. He was better; normal. The Jenova cells in Cloud hadn't been keeping him from fading away.

The visitors came and went. Cid remained always by his side.

Summer turned into the crisp chill of Autumn, and Vincent made his last trip outside on a walk into a nearby wood with Cid.

They talked quietly, smiling and laughing softly as they discussed old times beneath the red and gold falling leaves. 

Vincent limped on with his crutches, Cid helping him over ditches every now and then, with frequent rests to allow Vincent a respite. 

Both were wrapped up well against the chill, resting against a large oak tree that shed its golden leaves onto them as they rested.

"Do you remember..." Vincent said quietly after coughing a little into a handkerchief. "The first time... I said that I loved you?" He smiled, his breathing a little difficult.

Cid laughed softly, putting his arms around Vincent's shoulders. "Yeah. I remember. I was so happy... I thought that you didn't care."

"I did care... I cared ever since that day in Gongaga, even though I might not have realised it at the time. I can't thank you enough, Cid, you gave me so much... You made me realise that what happened, back then... was unstoppable. I couldn't live on with that guilt hanging over me forever. You made me free."

Cid sighed and rested his temple to Vincent's. "I love you."

"I know..." Vincent whispered. "I know..." He said it with such feeling, because he meant it. He knew Cid loved him and he felt exactly the same back. "You are my life, Cid. I am eternally grateful to any god that crossed your path with mine. Even though we haven't had long, we made what we could out of it, didn't we?"

Cid squeezed him tight. "Yeah. we did."

He felt Vincent's weight sink into his arms. "I'm tired..." He heard Vincent whisper against his chest. "I really enjoyed today... thank you so much for giving it to me. But I think we should... go home now... I just need a little sleep."

"Okay, Vin." Cid whispered, kissing his head. He helped Vincent to his feet, but Vincent was too tired to walk anymore. Cid lifted Vincent's slight weight and carried his crutches under one arm, making his way out of the wood and back home to rocket town. He felt Vincent's thin hands stroking his neck softly as he walked, and felt the little warm breaths against his neck and he smiled gently. Somehow, he knew that it would be Vincent's last time outside.    

Vincent had lost a lot of weight, and weighed no more now than a child. Cid easily carried him home, and up to bed. He laid Vincent gently on the bed, unwrapping the scarf and coat from his lean frame, then taking off his boots and pulling the covers over him. He looked so fragile.

Vincent opened his eyes and smiled at Cid, his very breathing an effort. "I'm just... going to sleep... a little while..." with that he closed his eyes and was almost instantly asleep. Cid pulled up a chair by the bedside and sat down, holding Vincent's weak, pale hand. He stroked it absently and looked out of the window, listening to the quiet sound of Vincent's breathing.

"Captain! I'm home!" Shera came in through the front door. She had bought the weekly food supplies from the grocery store and put them down on the kitchen table, unwinding her scarf from round her neck. "Captain?" She went up the stairs.

She realised that he would probably be with Vincent, watching over him. He hadn't left his side since they had returned from their walk yesterday, it seemed that Vincent was now too weak to move much anymore, so Cid stayed with him.

She entered the room where Vincent was lying, and saw Cid standing at the window, staring out of it.

"Captain..." She looked at Vincent's pale, thin form lying unmoving in the bed. "Captain, is he..." She started softly.

"No." Said Cid, not moving his eyes from the window.

"But how do you know? You haven't moved from that window!" Shera said quietly.

"I know, Shera... 'cos he wouldn't leave without sayin' goodbye."

Shera smiled, lowering her head. Tears formed in her eyes. "I... I know he wouldn't."

Cid looked over at Vincent's sleeping form. "Shera... go put the shopping away. I'll be down soon." 

Shera nodded. "Of course." She looked at Vincent for a long moment before turning and leaving the room.

Cid smiled at Vincent and sat on his chair beside the bed. Vincent slowly opened his eyes, coming awake.

"Hi..." Vincent murmured, his lips barely moving and his voice barely audible. His breathing was almost a wheeze now.

"Hey." Cid stroked his hair, looking into Vincent's hazy eyes. 

Vincent returned his gaze, nothing but unspoken love passing between them for a long time. Vincent eventually broke the reverie.

"I have to go now..." He whispered.

Cid nodded, his eyes filling with tears. "I know, baby..." he whispered back. 

"Don't... don't put me... back in a coffin..." Vincent whispered. "I want to go where Aeris went... can you give me to the sea..?"

Cid nodded. "Of course..." He held back his sobs. He couldn't bear this. It wasn't happening.

"Thank you." Vincent murmured, barely audible. "And..." he did his best to stare deep into Cid's tormented eyes. "Remember... that I will always love you... I will... be with you... forever..." Cid squeezed his hand. "Don't... forget me..." his pale lips managed to turn up into a smile, his eyelids slowly closing.

"I'll keep you with me, always... I love you so much... _so much_..." Cid whispered meaningfully, tears rolling down his face. "Goodbye, baby... be safe, until we meet again..." He laid a gentle, loving kiss on Vincent's forehead.

He was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

--------(----@

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Aftermath

A long time passed, and Cid didn't move from Vincent's side. He still held his pale hand, stroking it with his thumb. He felt he couldn't leave him, even still.. 

The tears dried on Cid's face only to be renewed with fresh ones. He gazed lovingly at Vincent's peaceful face. There had been no pain... he was glad of that small mercy. It seemed so surreal, that Vincent was gone and this man asleep in front of him was just an empty shell.

He wondered vaguely if Vincent was now reunited with Aeris... with Lucrecia... ones who loved him.

He didn't hear Shera come in. 

"Cid..." She murmured, laying a hand on his shoulder. She had never used his name personally since she had started working for him. "I'm so sorry."

Cid blinked, sighing as he realised he had to speak back. "It's okay. He's at peace now. He wasn't alone... at the end..." He said, looking up at Shera with his reddened eyes. He sniffed and looked down at Vincent again. "Doesn't he look peaceful?" Cid paused. "We did what we could for him, didn't we Shera? We made him as happy as we could, didn't we?"

"Of course we did..." Shera nodded, smiling, though tears were running down her face. He needed to hear those words. They were true anyway, but he needed to know that he did all he could.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Cid collapsed in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. He moaned with grief and Shera held him tight, knowing that the pain she felt was only scratching the surface of the agony Cid felt right now.

"I love him... I love him so much..." Cid moaned. "Why did he have to leave me alone...?"

Shera looked up at the ceiling, holding Cid tightly. He clung to her, weeping bitterly. 

Tears streamed down her face. "And he loves you. You know that, right? He'll always be with you, in here." She pulled back from him and tapped over his heart. "You're not alone."

The time came for giving Vincent to the sea, as he'd asked for. All of the old AVALANCHE team had been informed, and they dropped everything to reach rocket town the same day. 

It was sunset, and the autumn sky was filled with a deep red glow. It seemed appropriate, as red was Vincent's colour.

Shera, Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Red, Yuffie and even Reeve, sans Cait Sith, were there on the beach as Cid carried Vincent down to the shore. He laid Vincent down on a blanket on the sand, Shera had placed a few wildflowers in his clasped hands. 

There were more tears than Cid had expected from his old friends; Tifa and Yuffie were the first to cry. But even Cloud and Barret silently shed tears as they each, one by one, came over to where Vincent lay to pay their final respects. He looked so frail, so ashen and so thin... It was so horrible to see their once strong companion like this. So faded away.

Tifa placed a special flower from the church in Midgar on Vincent's chest and whispered something to him before running to Cloud and weeping in his arms.

When at last all had said their goodbyes, finally Cid went over to the body of his love and knelt by him, stroking his hair, smiling at the pale and beautiful face that looked so peaceful in the deep red glow of the fading sun.

He gently picked him up and started to walk into the water. 

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut in pain. He alone was the only one present who understood what Cid was feeling right now. This was all too familiar, he thought as he watched Cid wade into the sea. 

Cid reached chest height into the water and stopped. He looked down at the slight, unmoving frame cradled so gently in his arms. For a long time, Cid held onto Vincent, unable to let go. He felt the gentle waves pull at him softly, urging him to let Vincent go, but he just couldn't. He allowed himself to feel the pressure of Vincent's body against his own, to feel close to him, remembering... one last time. At last, he found his courage. 

"Goodbye baby." Cid whispered. He kissed the pale brow, his tears coming again. "I'll always love you."

And with that, he let go... Vincent slowly drifted out into the gently rolling waters.

They all watched as their old friend flowed away with the tides of the sea, until they couldn't see him any more. The sun finally slid all the way over the horizon, and the beach was dark and cold.

Cid still stood chest-deep in the sea, the cold breakers pushing their weight against him, the tide creeping up a little. He still didn't move, staring out at the sea as if perhaps he might catch one last glimpse of Vincent on his solitary journey.

Eventually, Barret waded out and had to physically take him out of the sea.

Cid looked around him in a daze as they slowly started to leave the beach. Everyone took a last look out at the sea's horizon and turned to walk back to rocket town.

As Barret walked Cid up the beach, Cid's eyes came to rest upon a lonely figure still standing by the shore, a little way away from where everyone else had been standing. 

He frowned, squinting in the twilight, trying to make out who the person was...

As if in answer, the figure slowly turned to look at him.

A woman, with long brown hair and such a tired, melancholy face... she looked like Shera. But it wasn't Shera, because Shera was walking ahead with the others. He didn't recognise her, but something inside him told him he knew who she was. They stared at each other as Barret escorted Cid up the quiet beach, the only sound was the wind blowing breakers up to crash against the shore. 

                                _____

                      /_n_n_\

Soon, everyone was in the house in Rocket town. Everyone still seemed to be in a state of shock; a few of them were sat around the table holding cups of coffee that were welcome against the night's chill. 

Cloud smiled softly. "Hey Cid... we went on so many adventures together, us three. Didn't we? Us and Vincent, I mean."

Cid nodded. "Yeah... we did. They were good times, even after Meteor came."

"I... I wonder..." Tifa started. Everyone turned to look at her. "I wonder if he's with Aeris now? Are they smiling down on us, wherever they are?"

Cloud looked at Cid and smiled at him. "Of course they are. Aren't they Cid?"

Cid looked at Cloud and saw the understanding in Cloud's eyes. Cloud had loved and lost Aeris, as Cid had loved and lost Vincent. There was a comradeship between them now, and silent understanding passed between them then. Cloud stood up and touched Cid's shoulder as he made his way into the living room to speak to Barret.

Cid sighed, and watched Shera clearing away the cups. "Shera, leave that... I'll do it later." He said quietly.

Shera looked at him for a moment. "Okay."

"Come on, sit down." He motioned to her, wearily. "We've all had a pretty miserable day. Don't bother yourself with that now."

Shera sat next to Cid, looking concernedly at his face. He looked so tired; so worn down... there were bags and dark rings under his eyes.

"Shera..." Cid muttered, looking down at a smoking cigarette between his fingers. 

"Yes?"

"Who was that woman at the beach? Was she a relative of yours? I didn't recognise her."

Shera shook her head. "What woman? The only women at the beach were Tifa, Yuffie and me. I didn't see anybody."

Cid shook his head, frowning. "No, there definitely was... she was standing right at the shoreline, even as we were leaving... I didn't see her myself until then, but she was standing there... staring out at the sea."

Tifa leant forward. "Cid, are you absolutely sure? I didn't see anyone... I don't think anyone else did either. Did anybody see anyone at the beach other than us?" She asked the others in the room. She was answered by an assortment of shaking heads.

Cid rubbed his hands over his eyes. He couldn't have been seeing things... she was too real... but wasn't that the point of seeing things? They seemed so real you thought they _were_ real? 

Shera looked down at her hands. The poor captain... he's overcome with grief and weariness... his mind must be playing tricks on him. "Cid, you need to get some sleep. You haven't been sleeping properly for days, you look so tired... I'll see everyone off. Go to bed." She said kindly, laying a hand on his arm.

"Maybe I should..." Cid murmured, his eyes closed. "You don't mind, do ya?" He asked Tifa, Red, Reeve and Yuffie. 

"Of course, Cid! You need some rest... go ahead..." Tifa encouraged, the others nodding their agreement.

"See ya again, guys. Thanks for coming. I'm sure Vin appreciated it." He smiled faintly at them, then stood up and made his way up the stairs. 

He reached the door to his room, and hovered for a moment with his hand on the door handle. Eventually he took a deep breath and went inside, clicking the door shut behind him.

He looked around, memories and pain flooding his heart.

Vincent's headband still lay on the dresser, his shoes rested by the wardrobe. His crutches lay by the bed. There was still a dent in the pillow from where his head had lain. The very bed upon which he had closed his eyes for the last time.

Cid picked up the red headband from the dresser and examined it, finding a couple of long silky black hairs caught on the material. He stroked them for a moment, thoughtfully. He lifted the headband to his face and breathed deeply, catching Vincent's familiar scent still on it.    

"Are you really gone, Vin...?" Cid whispered, touching the head-shaped dent in the pillow. "It feels like you're still here..." He felt tears form in his eyes again and he lay upon the other side of the bed, not daring to disturb the crumpled pillow and sheet where Vincent had once lain, curling up on his own side and weeping softly until he fell asleep.


	5. From the Past

~~~~~~~~~

Cid awoke with a start, coming awake in the darkness. He did this sometimes, and it always took him a moment to realise where he was.

"Ugh... not again. You awake Vin? I..." Cid stopped, listening to the silence as he realised what he'd said. What he'd thought for one blissful moment. He sighed and lay back flat again, his hand reaching out to the empty space in the bed, as if checking for sure that Vincent wasn't there.

It was too much. Memories of Vincent were all around him... he needed to get out or he'd drown in his grief. He got up and hastily pulled on his jacket, having fallen asleep in his clothes. He grabbed his cigarettes and rushed out of the door, down the stairs and out of the house.

~

He almost didn't realise where his feet were taking him in the dark until he was pretty much there: the beach.

He found himself making his way down to the shoreline, slowly and definitely.

And so he stood there in the cold of the night, cigarette burning away as he stared out at the mournful crashing waves.

"Vin... I miss you... Are you okay out there? Are you safe, wherever you are? I know it's selfish, but I wish you'd stayed here with me... I wish Hojo was here right now, so I could kill him again! That heartless bastard! He ruined so many people's lives... but no one suffered more than you, Vin. I hope I made you happy, in the time that we had together...?" Cid whispered, hoping Vincent could hear his voice carried on the wind.

"Can you hear me, Vin? I love you." He lowered his head, a lonely tear trickling down his cheek.

"He loves you too." 

Cid started and turned to the strange voice. 

It was that woman...

"You!" Cid exclaimed, hastily wiping the tears from his eyes, his face irritated. "Who are you? Why were you at the beach with us today? No one else saw you..."

The woman smiled bitterly. She turned to look at the sea, the wind blowing her long brown hair out behind her. "You don't know me. But I'm sure you know my name."

Cid was annoyed by her enigmatic allusions. "Then tell me! Who the hell are you?!"

"I'm the cause for all of Vincent's suffering. His pain. His death. It was because of me that Hojo killed him and warped him all those years ago. It is because of me that the Meteor almost destroyed this world. My name is Lucrecia."

~

Cid stared at her, his heart almost stopped. Complete and utter shock overtook him and for a moment he couldn't speak.

"L... Lucrecia..?" He asked in disbelief. 

She smiled, but it was not a happy smile. She lowered her head. "Yes. I'm Sephiroth's mother."

Cid was silent. He couldn't believe who was standing in front of him, or even how.

"Why... weren't you dead? Why are you here?" He managed after a moment.

"But I'm not dead, as you can see. Just a vagrant soul with no home." She sighed, looking out at the melancholy sea. "I owe Vincent so much. The least I could do was attend his sending. I loved him too, once."

"No you didn't, you loved that monster, Hojo!" Cid accused, angry. "How @#$%ing dare you come here, after what you pair of freaks did to him!"

Lucrecia bowed her head, hurt. Her eyes squeezed shut. "It's true that I didn't love him like he needed me to, but I cared for him... he was such a good friend to me. But I was taken in by Hojo; I was a fool. If only I had been wise enough to see the mistake I was making. And my child... my poor child... what did they do to him to turn him into the monster he became..? I'm... so ashamed. I never got to hold him, you know, once he was born. They wouldn't let he hold him. I cried so much." She paused, a tear rolling down her pale cheek. "Hojo had no use for me once Sephiroth was born. He had charmed me, won my heart, told me he loved me, for months... all lies! Lies, just to procure his ultimate sample! A child!" Lucrecia looked into Cid's eyes. "So... after my baby was born... he took him and he abandoned me, and my poor baby was brought up in Shinra. Constantly tested upon in laboratories. Injected with Mako and Jenova cells, to make him the perfect soldier." Her voice was broken and tears flowed from her pale eyes. "My own baby." She whispered.

Cid looked away, ashamed for shouting at her. Why did he always react like that? The pain just made him angry...

"And..." Lucrecia sighed, sniffing. "And, um, when I realised what had happened, I tried to find Vincent - my only friend. But I couldn't find him. Hojo told me he was dead, but I wouldn't believe him. I searched and searched for so many years... the thought of finding Vincent was all I had left in this world now. I gave up my work as a scientist. I wanted so much to die... but the Jenova in me wouldn't let me die. Eventually I found a dark, secret cave to hide in and fell asleep... I had slept ever since, seeing things in my dreams. I started to see Sephiroth in my dreams so much... whispers in the dark telling me my baby was dead, but I didn't believe them either. I just dreamed and dreamed... seeing so many things. Then one day... Vincent came to my cave and I awoke. I felt so wretched, when I saw him. I saw what he had become, because of me. He ran over to me, but I told him to stay back... I couldn't bear to look at him. The pain was too much. I know it hurt him, but... I have always been so wretchedly selfish. I have never deserved his care. I will never know why he ever felt for me."

Cid didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say? Even though hearing about Vincent's pain hurt him, and even Lucrecia's pain made him feel for the poor woman to some extent, he wanted to hear more about Vincent from someone who had known him for so long. It was as if her memories of the tragic dark haired man were adding to his own. He looked long at Lucrecia, noticing once again how much she resembled Shera. He wondered vaguely if Vincent had ever thought the same, and if looking at Shera would have constantly reminded him of the woman he once cared so much about.

He never told him if he did.

"Look..." Cid began quietly. "It's cold out here. Come up to the house with me, you can stay the night. I'd like to talk to you some more about Vincent later, but it's too late now."

Lucrecia smiled wanly at him. "Thank you for your understanding and your kindness... I'm glad Vincent found you. I know that you gave him the love he deserved. Thank you for caring for him." She looked out at the sea. "But I will remain here for a while. You go back home." She paused. "It is good to talk to a friendly face, and we have at least one thing in common. If you ever wish to talk to me... I will be at the cave by the pool in the river."

Cid nodded at her, looking at her for a moment before turning and making his way back up to the house.

He looked back once, but she was gone...

***

Shera yawned as she waited for the kettle to boil. 

She had got up early to make a cup of tea for the captain when he awoke... she was going to take care of him after he'd spent so much of himself looking after Vincent. She poured the hot water into the cup. After he'd gone to bed last night, she had remained up for a few hours while Cloud and the others were still there, talking about Vincent, and about Cid. How tired he looked these days.

That was when Shera had decided to look after Cid even more than ever. So after she had seen everyone off and wished them a safe journey home, she tidied the living room and kitchen a little, making sure everything was nice for the captain in the morning.

She stirred the tea before washing the spoon and putting it away. She was about to carry the cup upstairs when she was met halfway on the staircase by Cid coming down. He still looked just as tired as last night... he'd probably lain awake all night. It was going to be hard for Cid for a long time... but she hoped that time would eventually dull his pain. She didn't mean she wanted Cid to forget Vincent, far from it - but she hated to see the captain in this state.

"Hey, Shera. What are you doing up? It's early." He said quietly, gratefully taking the cup from her hands as they both then came down the stairs. 

"I made you a cup of tea, and I was going to bring it up to you."

Cid smiled weakly, his eyes were so red and weary looking. "You're good to me, y'know that? You know I don't mean it when I yell at you, don't ya?" They sat at the familiar kitchen table.

"Of course." Shera nodded. They sat in quiet for a while, gathering their thoughts.

Cid decided not to tell Shera about Lucrecia just yet. He didn't know what she'd make of it; if she'd think he was making it up or hallucinating. But it really was strange how the two resembled each other. Maybe they were distant relations.

"What are you doing today, captain?" Shera asked, trying to make light conversation.

Cid sighed. He didn't know. He didn't feel like doing anything. He wanted to talk to Lucrecia again... but he'd realised last night that the cave was unreachable by normal means; the only way there was on a golden Chocobo or by using the submarine. Cloud had the keys to the submarine, and he also had the only gold Chocobo they had left... That meant that if Cid wanted to go to see Lucrecia he'd need to go to Midgar first.

He sighed and leaned his face into his hands. He just didn't have the energy to go on the trip... what could he do in the house? Well, Vincent's things needed sorting. It hurt him deeply to think of it, but he couldn't just leave all his things lying around, collecting dust, reminding him constantly of his loss, his pain... 

But in a way, he didn't want to forget his pain, because at least when the pain was so fresh it felt like Vincent hadn't been gone so long. Sometimes it felt like he hadn't really gone at all.

He couldn't bear the mental image he had of folding up Vincent's clothes and putting them in boxes, never to see use again... losing his scent and just becoming old, forgotten memories...

He felt stuck. He didn't want to have either... he needed to get out of the house. 

"Shera..."

"Hmm?"

"I'm taking the Highwind out for a while." He stood up and fetched his goggles and jacket from the coat rack.

"Captain, are you sure you're okay to fly the Highwind? I mean, after yesterday... and you look so tired..."

"Shera, stop worrying." He muttered, tucking a packet of cigarettes into his goggle strap and tying his thin white scarf loosely around his neck. "I'll be fine. Look, I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay..." Shera murmured as she watched him go out the door.

***


	6. Magic and Angels

It had been almost a month now since Vincent passed away. It broke Shera's heart every day to see Cid walking down the stairs in the morning, lost and utterly devoid of hope. It was as if a great light had gone out of the house, out of Cid's heart. 

He had changed so much... the way he used to flare up and shout, or laugh, or be passionate about anything was faded like an old photograph. He didn't even swear much any more, the only thing about him that remained constant was his chain-smoking. 

It was like... like he lived life because he had no other choice in the matter, not because he wanted to. It was terrible, to see the once vibrant man, so full of life - worn down into this shell. A shadow of what he once was. 

Shera was glad that he didn't cry as much now as he did at first, though on occasion she would take him in a cup of tea in the mornings to find him lying in bed with Vincent's old headband in his hand, staring at it with tears streaked down his face.

What agonies he suffered, day after day, waking up in that bed alone, she could not know.

But at some point, every single day, Cid took a small handful of flowers down to the beach and cast them into the sea, staring out at the lonely waves for a long time. At first Shera would come with him, but she eventually came less and less before stopping coming all together. It was a private thing, she realised, and Cid needed to be alone for that moment every day. Maybe he spoke to Vincent, if he could hear him.

The old team visited often, always bringing news about big developments and they never spoke now of Vincent, for whenever they had Cid's face would become distressed and he would draw into himself.

So no one talked of Vincent any more.

But sometimes, in the quiet evenings when Cid and Shera sat on the couch watching TV in the living room, Cid would see something, perhaps an old favourite program advertised, or a certain subject that Vincent was interested in, and he'd quietly say: "Vin used to love that."

Shera would look at him, not quite knowing what to say... and he would just sit there, his eyes fixed on the screen, silently nodding to himself, remembering.

He'd once tried to pack Vincent's things away. He'd tried.

He had gotten as far as putting most of them into open cardboard boxes, but he had left them right by the drawers from which he'd got the things out of, never sealing or moving them. He just couldn't bring himself to let go.

A couple of times, Shera had even seen him, through a crack in the door as she passed, sitting at the foot of the bed and clutching Vincent's old red cloak to his chest like it was a child, rocking to and fro. 

She would find her eyes filling with tears; she couldn't bear to see Cid so grief-stricken. It was still so bad, even after a month it was as if Vincent had only been gone a day.

The house was like a cemetery, full of unspoken memories and pain that lingered in the air. In a way, Vincent was haunting Cid because his memory and his painful loss stayed behind...

Then one day, Cid came downstairs earlier than usual, as Shera was waiting for the kettle to boil. There were no tears in his eyes this time, and his face looked kind of... determined.

"Captain? What are you doing up..?" She asked, watching him as he put on his jacket and goggles.

"Something I've put off for too long." He murmured, putting his packet of cigs under his goggle strap.    

She stood in the doorway as he strode down the path, stopping to pick some flowers as he did every day before setting off to the beach as usual.

"What is he going so early for..?" She wondered quietly as he disappeared from view.

***

Cid set his jaw as he made his way back from the beach as usual, but instead of back home he went to the Highwind ship, he was determined to talk to Lucrecia again. She was his only link now to the man he'd lost. He didn't know why he'd put it off for so long, but he needed to talk to her about Vincent. She was the only one now who he felt he could talk to and be understood when he talked about the only person he'd ever truly loved. And lost... 

Cid checked the date on the now hardly-used digital clock on the control panel - he'd lost count of the days these last few weeks. October 12th...

"Vin's birthday tomorrow..." He murmured as he shifted the gears and took off into the sky. "I wonder how old he would've been? I'll still get him something. I don't know what to get him though... I'll talk to Lucrecia about it." He nodded, smiling as Vincent's beautiful face appeared in his mind, smiling at him. The tears still came though. He tried to hold them back as he soared in the Highwind over the Nibel mountains they had once crossed. He really looked hard, down at the land flowing underneath, remembering his journey with AVALANCHE and savouring all the little memories that came back to him. He laughed softly at a few, and some made a tear roll down his cheek. He swore that he'd never cried so much in his life as he had in the past two months.  

It took a while to fly all the way to Midgar, and he eventually touched down on a grassy area as near to the hulking metropolis as he could. He disembarked and walked resolutely towards the sector 6 gate. He was glad that he had a key cut to the gate after Cloud found it in Bone Village, it had come in very useful.

He wasn't sure where exactly in Sector 6 Cloud lived, but he was certain that it was in Sector 6. He passed the old church and stopped, luck apparently favouring him as he saw Cloud approaching the old building with a bunch of lilies in his hand. He spotted Cid just after Cid had spotted him and waved the pilot over.

"Cid!" Said Cloud. "Nice to see you, how are you?"

Cid nodded. "I'm ok. Thanks for asking. I'm sorry I haven't been up to see any of you guys, but with things... you know."

"Yeah, it's fine, don't worry about it. I understand."

Cid smiled at him faintly. "Yeah... I guess you do." He paused. "Look, there's a favour I gotta ask ya. Can I borrow the keys to the sub? There's somewhere I wanna go, but you can only get to it from underwater."

Cloud nodded. "Of course you can... just bear with me for a bit and I'll take you back to the house to get them. But I got something to take care of first." He lifted the bunch of lilies. "Me and Tifa grew these in our garden... the first flowers to grow in Midgar, apart from Aeris' flowers. I brought some to give to her. Do you want to come? I'm sure she'd like to see you." 

Cid nodded expressively. "Sure I will."

Cloud and Cid made their way into the old church.

Cid instantly felt the surge of peace in the air as they entered the old holy place, and a single shaft of golden sunlight pierced through a hole in the roof, illuminating the familiar patch of flowers in a golden glow. Cid saw someone moving slowly in the patch of light, but was obscured by the glow.

"Can you see her?" Cloud whispered, smiling kindly at the figure.

Cid squinted and his heart made a tumult as he made out the delicate features. "Aeris... she's here?" Cid whispered back, not believing his eyes. "But I thought she..."

"Yes," Cloud replied, somewhat sadly. "It's her spirit. Once in a while, I see her here. But whenever I try to go near her, she disappears... so I just stay here at the back. It's strange, like I just suddenly think of her one day for no apparent reason so I come here and there she is. I'm never wrong. That's why I brought her these flowers... I know she loved lilies." He stepped forward a little and laid the flowers down upon the old wood floor. "I grew them in Midgar, Aeris!" He said quietly, smiling at the ethereal visage of the flower girl working hard with her blossoms. "The Planet's getting better now. No more Shinra. No more... him."

Cid watched the silent spirit with quiet wonderment. Was Vincent's spirit appearing somewhere like this?

But suddenly, he broke from his thoughts as he heard Cloud gasp. He looked up sharply. "What?"

He followed Cloud's shocked gaze and saw the spirit of Aeris rise from her flowers and approach them!

"Ae... Aeris..." Cloud whispered and almost ran forward to the girl smiling and walking towards him, she seemed so real you could touch her... But she stopped as she came to the edge of the patch of sunlight, and Cloud reached out for her outstretched hand. It appeared this had never happened before.

Cid heard Cloud cry out softly as his hand went straight through the girl's. "Aeris..."

"Cloud..." The apparition whispered. "Thank you for the flowers... they're beautiful. And you grew them in Midgar! Well done!" She smiled. Her voice was echoing and ethereal.

Cloud was desperate to touch her face, her hand... tears were running down his face.

"Aeris... why... why have you never come to me before? You always vanish if I take so much as a step towards you..."

"Cloud..." She whispered fondly, laying her almost semi-transparent hand upon his face, leaving a gentle warm glow where she touched. "I'm not really supposed to be doing this. I'm breaking the rules, you know. But..." She smiled at Cid, who was slowly approaching, awe and wonder on his face.

"I was asked to bring a message to someone." She continued, her face full of kindness and light. 

Cloud shook his head. "I don't understand..." He whispered. 

"This spirit is not strong enough to visit the realms of the living, and begged me to pass on a message. I saw this request as an opportunity to see you, to speak to you again, Cloud..." She smiled gently.

Cloud wiped a tear from his face. "But who would have a message for me, other than you?" He asked the girl's spirit.

"This message is for Cid." Aeris smiled.

Cid's heart leapt into his throat. "For... me..?" He managed, his throat tight. It could only be...

Aeris moved as close as she could to Cid. It seemed she couldn't leave the patch of glowing sunlight. "Vincent says he loves you, Cid." She smiled, happy to deliver the message.

Cid covered his hand with his mouth, sinking slowly to his knees. Tears formed in his eyes.

"Vin... is he safe?" Cid whispered, his voice trembling. "Please tell me he's happy... wherever he is..." The tears broke free. 

Aeris knelt, her face level with Cid's and radiantly glowing with some inner light. "He's safe and happy, but he misses you terribly. He knew you would see me today, so he begged me to pass on a message to you. How could I refuse such a request from an old friend? I know it's breaking the rules, but I'm at a certain rank where I can bend them a little bit..."  

She stood and with a soft flash of light two huge feathery white wings appeared on her back, folded serenely. She seemed to resonate with purity and light.

Cid stared up at her as he knelt, through his tears.

Cloud stood still, staring at her in wonder. "You're an Angel..."

Aeris laughed softly, and touched his face gently. "Yes. I watch over you as much as I can, you know, Cloud."

Cloud lifted a trembling hand and held it over Aeris'.  "You watch over me..?"

Aeris stepped back into the sunlight. "I must leave now. I'm so glad I saw you both... It's so good to see you."

"Aeris! Don't leave me!" Cloud cried, rushing forward, but went right through Aeris' shimmering intangible form and landed in the flowers behind her. 

"I'm sorry, Cloud... I have duties I must attend to. I'll be watching over you, remember that." She knelt down and laid the lightest of kisses upon his head. 

Cloud shook with his sobs. "I love you..." He whispered to her. 

She smiled at him. "And I will always love you." She began to fade.

"Wait!" Cid cried, unexpectedly. Aeris turned to face him.

"You gotta give Vin a message from me! Please!" He cried.

Aeris continued to fade. "But Cid, there's no need... he can already hear you..."

She disappeared, leaving a faint glow of golden light where she had once stood.

The two of them spent a long time just sitting there, in that patch of sunlight amongst the flowers. The sun warmed them, yet there was a bittersweet pain inside both.

There was a long time of silence, each contemplating what had happened, and the visitation meant different things to both of them...

Cloud had spoken to the woman he had loved and lost to Sephiroth's cruel blade so unfairly... she had been murdered as she prayed for the safety of all the souls on the planet.

Cid had received a message from his love, so recently taken away from him, also unfairly. The pain was so fresh for Cid...

"I loved her, you know." Cloud said quietly after a while, his gloved hand gently caressing a healthy rooted flower.

Cid smiled. "Yeah. I think we all knew, back then. There was just... something special between you."

Cloud smiled faintly. "Strange... how we love and lose people, isn't it...? So unfair..."

Cid bowed his head, silently thinking of the long weeks he had spent caring for Vincent in his final days. Just when they had a chance to be together, in peace, after the threat of Meteor was over... Vincent was to disappear along with the monsters. Is that why he used to call himself a monster? Did he know he was destined to die from the moment he joined the team? Wasn't he afraid? 

But still... it was better for him to have had some life before the end... the thought of them not finding him in the basement of Shinra Mansion played at Cid's mind like a terrible threat of what could have been. Just one wrong slip of that dial on the safe... one spin of the wheel, and Vincent would have remained locked in that terrible room full of skeletons and corpses, stuck in that coffin until he merely faded away, unknowing. No one would have mourned for him, because he would have simply ceased to exist - and who would have remembered him if he had not have been found? Who would bring him flowers to honour his memory? Unmarked, in his lonely grave.

No... it had turned out for the best. At least Vincent had been loved.

Eventually they left the church and went slowly to Cloud's house. Despite the tears they had cried, they felt blessed that they had been granted a visitation from the Angel who once fought and died alongside them, and a message from another, more recently departed comrade.

Cloud handed over the keys to the sub and wished Cid luck with wherever he wanted to go. Cid was thankful that Cloud did not ask where he was going. 

So, with a farewell Cid left Sector 6 and Midgar, going back to the Highwind that was waiting at the first grassy area away from the huge once-prosperous city. As Cid boarded, he wondered about what Aeris had said. Vincent could always hear him...

Cid sat behind the control panel and habitually flicked on the ignition switches and pushed the levers forward. 

"Vin... can you hear me now?" He asked, automatically looking upward for some reason. "If you can hear me, let me know. Show me a sign..."

He waited.

Nothing happened.

Cid sighed. "I guess you can't show me, cos you aren't allowed..." He murmured. "But I love you. Always will." He smiled, and the Highwind took off, making for Junon.

Cid actually felt like he was getting somewhere as he got off the Highwind and used the keys Cloud gave him to board the submarine. He was thankful that he had enrolled on a Shinra vehicle operation course in his younger days so he could manoeuvre virtually any means of transportation. After all, he _was_ the best pilot in the world. He grinned grimly as the submarine dived beneath the water.

It took him a little longer than he expected to find the underwater tunnel that led to the inland lake, as he took two wrong turns along the way; first he found himself at the site of the decimated wreck of the Shinra Gelnika plane, then he took the wrong tunnel when he was in the right vicinity and ended up where the team had once found the key to the music box in the City of the Ancients.

At last, he found the right tunnel and surfaced into the inland lake.

He stepped out of the submarine and looked at the gloomy cave entrance cleverly hidden behind a waterfall. 

Cid carefully stepped behind it and into the cave. 

Strangely, the cave seemed quite well lit, and there were crystalline stalactites reflecting some unseen light source around the cave.

"Hello, Cid."

Cid turned and saw Lucrecia standing by a rocky pillar. She smiled at him.

"Good of you to come." She looked sad, despite her smile.

"I wanted to talk to you..." He said. 

"And I wanted to talk to you." She replied, seriously. "You first."

"Well, as it happens..." Cid began. "As I was making my way over here, I received a message from Vin."

Lucrecia leaned forward. "Really? How?"

Cid explained everything that had happened in the church... about Aeris, and her message.

Lucrecia asked who this Aeris was, but Cid did not have the heart to tell her it was the girl that her own son killed in cold blood. But it seemed that she realised this anyway.

"So, this was the girl that I saw in a dream..." Lucrecia whispered. "I foresaw her death in my dreams. I called out to Sephiroth with my soul, begging him not to take her life... but he was consumed in a madness and could not hear my faraway cries... It was too late. For all that Vincent claimed he was full of sins... all those sins he spoke of and more were really my sins. He took all the blame onto himself, needlessly..."

Cid hung his head. "He realised in the end, that it wasn't his fault, Lucrecia..." He looked up at her. "But don't misunderstand. You can't take any of the blame either, or you're just repeating his mistake! It was Hojo, it's always been Hojo! Even the wrong done by Sephiroth is Hojo's fault, if you think about it!"

Lucrecia smiled at Cid. "I really see why you were so good for Vincent. You have a kind heart."

Cid sighed, looking wearily with a faint smile at the woman. "Always been my weakness, unfortunately."

"No." Lucrecia whispered. "Not a weakness. A strength; one that I never had. I was always so selfish, and such a fool. Now so many people have paid for my weakness. I can only hope to atone by righting one wrong done on my part." She walked up to a large rock near the back of the cave and pulled out a strange metal device from behind it. She came back to Cid and almost reverently placed it in his hands.

"Take this, and go to the City of the Ancients in one week from now, at this exact time. Do not tell anyone about it. I will meet you there. But for now, you must leave. Go back to your home and rest, take care of any business you have to attend to." She smiled, she seemed almost excited. "There is one last secret that the Ancients left behind that I managed to keep from Hojo and even professor Gast. Now I know why I was meant to keep it. Goodbye, Cid - remember, exactly one week."

Cid looked down at the ancient-looking thing in his hands. It looked like a severely deformed pair of scissors to him. "But why? What's the big secret? Is it something to do with Aeris..?" He asked her.

But when he looked up, she was gone.

"....."

"She keeps @#$%in' doing that."

****

Shera sighed and threw the dishcloth in the sink before collapsing on the sofa, exhausted. She had just spring cleaned the entire kitchen, even though it was October. She'd needed something to keep her mind busy, and the house was less than immaculate as neither she nor the captain felt much up to house work these days. But it needed to be done.

Her eyes were just losing their battle to remain open when she heard the front door open, and Cid walked in, frowning and examining a strange metal object in his hands. A cig in his mouth coiled its grey smoke up into the air.

"Captain, you're back..." Shera yawned. "Where did you go?" She sat up and looked at him over the back of the sofa. "What's that you've got there?"

Shera thought he seemed reluctant to tell her about it. "Oh, this? It's... uh... well, I don't know, truthfully. Someone gave it to me." He put it on the table. Even despite Lucrecia's warning, he didn't care if Shera saw it. He didn't have to tell her anything about it, did he? He trusted her implicitly. "I just went to see someone I haven't seen in a while..." 

He thought for a moment about telling Shera about the visitation from Aeris, the message she gave him... even about Lucrecia. But the more he considered it, the more he realised she'd think he'd gone funny in the head. Hell, he thought - what if I have! 

It wouldn't have surprised him with all the shit running through his head.

But no. This was real, but he thought it best not to tell. At least not until he knew what the hell was going on with this meeting he was to go to at the City of the Ancients in one weeks time... 

****

Slightly longer chappie, eh! Hey, we're getting somewhere. ^_^


	7. Sacrifice

Another long chappie! Bit of action in this one. ^_^

~~~~~

The week seemed to drag, and Cid often found himself sitting in his room, fiddling with the strange metal device and wondering what would transpire in the Ancient Capital. He felt sure it was something to do with Aeris, as she was an Ancient after all...

Examining the artefact, he could see how old it was. It reminded him a little of the Music Box key they'd used to see the projection of Aeris' Prayer in the City.

It was the length of his forearm from elbow to wrist, and it was sharp at one end with two opposing spikes coming from the middle at a diagonal angle, with strange ornate carvings in ancient runes all over it. 

Even though Cid was not an expert by any means on ancient artefacts, he could feel that this thing held some special, undiscovered secret that would likely cause an earthquake in the field of archaeology if it was ever brought to light. It was just the way that Lucrecia had handed it over to him almost feverishly, saying in an almost excited whisper that neither Hojo nor Gast had ever known about it. Like it was a hanging remnant, a shred of her pride as a former scientist. 

Finally, after what seemed an age, the day came for Cid to go to the Ancient City to meet Lucrecia. He wrapped up the artefact in a cloth and put it in a leather satchel for safekeeping, leaving early in the morning.

Shera watched him leave and walk down the path from her bedroom window. It was so early, she hadn't even got up yet. 

"He's been acting so strange this week... and what _is _that thing he brought back with him last week? I hope he's okay... it looks like the grief is affecting him worse than I thought."

She lay back in bed, thinking. Her thoughts turned to Vincent, as they often did. How he had become so weak and thin... so frail. 

She remembered trying to get him to keep some food down when she brought him things to eat. He would eat a little, then say he felt sick before bringing most of it back up later. It was distressing, and Cid would sit next to him on the bed, rubbing Vincent's back, saying "Come on, Vin... you gotta keep somethin' down or you'll lose your strength...".

But he couldn't. His digestive system, like the rest of him, had started to fail.

On the odd occasion, after several tries, Vincent would sometimes succeed in keeping some food in his stomach and Cid would smile and tell him well done, kissing his hair.

So much went wrong with him, all at once. His lungs became quite bad. There had been many a time when Vincent had coughed into his hand only to pull it away with trickles of blood on his lips and fingers.

Shera turned over and pulled her pillow round her head. She would probably never really get over those distressing times... seeing him in such pain like that...

She smiled as she remembered the odd times when Vincent would ask Cid not to leave him as he lay, weakened, in bed, so Cid would sit on the bed next to him and Vincent would curl up to him, often falling asleep with his head in Cid's lap, Cid's hand stroking his hair.

Those moments between them that she had seen... so beautiful yet so sad. So poignant.

How could Cid ever move on?

**

Cid knew where the City was, he had been once when he, Cloud and Vincent had gone with Bugenhagen to put the key in the music box. He remembered how they had felt when they saw Aeris' serene face on the water, hands locked in prayer, and they witnessed her death on the screen... her eyes closing as the life left her body. It had been terrible to watch, and Cloud had been seeing the death of the woman he loved for a second time...

Cid wondered vaguely what he would have felt like if he'd been in Cloud's shoes then. 

He wouldn't be able to bear it, it was that simple. Cloud had been so brave through it all, continuing to fight despite the agonies he felt.

He landed the airship in the valley where the City was situated, just beyond the Sleeping Forest. Disembarking from the Highwind, he took his time along the sloping pathways among the shell-like houses, wondering where exactly in the large city he was supposed to meet Lucrecia.

He stood in the crossroads in front of the large central structure, gathering his bearings. 

The left path led to the room with the music box and the projector, and the path straight on apparently led to the place where Aeris had met her end. He'd never been to that place. 

The way to the Snow Fields and Great Glacier were to his right... Cid smiled. Icicle Inn was that way, too. The memories of his brief two-day break there with Vincent came back to him... it had been such a fun time, no Meteor yet, They hadn't yet heard of Aeris' death and Cid had been blissfully unaware of Vincent's fate.

Their first kiss, in that hotel room... even though it was a slightly drunken one. It was the start of something very, very special.

Cid put his fingers to his lips, trying hard to relive that memory... those feelings of new love, deep seated feelings and emotions that no one else could ever know.

He tore himself away from the memories just as they threatened to flood his heart. Not yet, too painful. Too painful.

Too _late_, he realised, as he found once again his eyes were leaking tears.

 "Cid, you came."

Cid was used to her sudden appearances by now, but he was caught off guard due to his being lost inside his memories for a moment. He spun about in surprise, hastily wiping the single tear from his cheek. There was Lucrecia.

"Oh, there you are. Uh, yeah, I came... I brought the thingummy-jig with me." He patted the satchel. "Hey, are you gonna tell me what all this is about?" He continued. "I've been going out of my mind all week. Just what the hell is this thing, anyway?" He swung the satchel into better view for a moment.

Lucrecia smiled so warmly at him, and laughed softly. She seemed pleased for some reason, and it was freaking him out a little bit. He really wanted to know what was going on.

"Come on, let's go." She said. "I will explain a little on the way."

Lucrecia started to walk straight on, towards the towering central structure. She beckoned for Cid to follow her.

"I found an ancient manuscript, long ago - when we found a large amount of Cetra artefacts around the same time Jenova was found inside the geological stratum. I... I kept a few things back from the professor and from Hojo, because I wanted to be more than just an assistant. It was degrading, to be constantly filing reports and doing the paperwork for things that they had discovered, never once tasting the limelight or becoming a respected scientist in my own right. The manuscript I found... it was possibly the most important Cetra document to ever be found, as it contained the same ancient text, but written in three languages; in Cetra runes and also in an early form of our script, and below that in archaic human language, which scholars of old have deciphered. So, this was my key to deciphering the tongue and the writings of the Ancients. It was an amazing find! So I kept it from them. I took the manuscript home and worked on it every night when I got home, slowly but surely working it out, letter by letter, until I could decipher the entirety of the language of the Cetra."

Cid's eyes widened. "Wow," he said as they walked on, slowly. "That's pretty impressive. And you're the only one to ever decipher it? Even still?"

"Yes," She smiled, still a twinkle of pride in her eyes. "That writing in chalk you saw in the projector room... it is my writing. I worked out what it said, but I could never find the key to the music box."

Cid smiled faintly. "Bugenhagen thought a man had figured it out."

Lucrecia smiled again. "So, I went around our collection of rune-covered exhibits, secretly revelling that I could read what they said. Hojo and Gast would speculate for hours on what they said. They would tell me that it was highly likely they had some sort of secret Ancient magic spells or rituals written on them, but when I read them they were nothing more than simple love songs, or decorative poetry, or sometimes prayers to the planet for good health."

Cid shook his head. "Scientists. Vin turned me against 'em eventually." He looked at Lucrecia. "No offence."

"None taken. I don't like scientists much, myself." She looked down, quiet. They had reached the end of a dark tunnel-like path and emerged by a large crystal-blue pool, near another lone shell-house.

"But there was one thing that they had found... when I read the runes covering it I was amazed. It was incredible... an artefact that I know now to be truly magical in nature. The powers of the Cetra, Earth, Wind, Water and Sky were within it and it possessed a special ability. The only one of its kind, and when I tested its matter for an approximate date of when it was crafted, the results show that it was over thirty thousand years old..."

"THIRTY-THOUSAND- @#$%in' hell!" After his initial shout of surprise, Cid's eyes slowly narrowed. He looked down slowly at the satchel containing the weird metal thing she had given to him. "Um, can I ask... is this thing you gave me... THAT artefact..?" he asked slowly.

She looked right at him. "Yes." They carried on, having stopped by the pool for a moment. Cid watched the ripples glitter in a shimmering pale blue light that was coming from the crystalline walls and ceiling of the huge and beautiful structure. Such a beautiful place.

"Yes, the very artefact you carry. It is called the _Heka_. It possesses extraordinary attributes that can only be awakened by one who knows how to use it, who can read and speak the language of the Ancients."

Cid looked at her, in awe somewhat. "@#$%. Even Aeris couldn't do that, and she _was _an Ancient. Isn't the language difficult?!"

"No. Not for me. Perhaps I was once an Ancient in a past life... perhaps that's why I was drawn to them so?"

Cid stubbed out his expired cig on the underside of his boot before putting the stub in his jacket pocket, not wanting to litter this beautiful place, before lighting another one. "This story is amazing and all, but aren't you gonna tell me why we're here?"

Lucrecia shook her head. "Soon. Come, we're nearly there." She led Cid into the shell-house, and up a winding stair inside it. At the top, there was a small circle in the centre that was sectioned off, and some sort of tall, sweet-smelling grass grew out of it.

"Look." Lucrecia whispered, and parted the grass, uncovering a hidden descending staircase that was made of crystal. They started to go down it.

"Oh my god..." Cid whispered, other words for the moment abandoning him.

A huge, huge, cavern that was made entirely out of crystal and pale blue glass, the light shimmering from a giant blue crystalline lake at the bottom. The crystal staircase they were standing on curled around gracefully all the way to the bottom, where there were some elegant spires and beautiful ancient buildings that were completely intact and not eroded by time.

This was the place where Aeris met her end. Cid didn't know this, and absorbed the pure and almost divine feelings and impressions that were resonating from the very air in this sanctified place. They slowly descended the stairs, the crystalline edges giving off a strange, haunting ringing chime as the faint cool breeze blew up from the shimmering blue waters to caress them.

Cid was enchanted, and every inch his eyes took in filled his heart with beauty and serenity.

They eventually reached the spire-like structures at the bottom, on a platform raised from the lake and Cid saw an altar erected up high, ensconced in an almost holy light. It was all too beautiful.

"What is this place..." Cid whispered to Lucrecia, his voice sounding ethereal and echoing among the soft chimes of the crystal. 

"It is the sacred altar of the Ancients." She whispered with some reverence. "They came here to offer their highest prayers, to become one with the planet. To bind themselves to serve the life-force."

Cid nodded, entranced. Her words seemed fitting; right. He looked at her and came back to himself a little. "But, then... why are _we_ here?"     

Shera sighed. "I will tell you, now. Come, just a little further." She bade him follow her as she made her way to the High Altar. They climbed up a series of platforms raised from the waters and stood at last at the Altar itself: a circular space surrounded by crystal with a shaft of light piercing down to shine upon them as they stood.

"Now... give me the Heka." She whispered. An unreadable emotion was upon her face. She held out her hand expectantly.

Cid fumbled with the satchel and brought out the cloth bundle, unwrapping the artefact and handling it for a brief moment before giving it to Lucrecia.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked quietly as she held the Heka to her chest, her eyes closed.

"Yes..." She whispered, either not hearing or ignoring his question. "A week was enough. The energies are within it now."

Cid at last lost his patience. "Look! I'm just about sick of you not tellin' me what the @#$%'s goin on here, and I want answers!" He went quiet, instantly regretting swearing in this holiest of places. He checked himself though. "Hey, I shouldn't care... I ain't an Ancient!" He muttered under his breath as an afterthought.

"I am going to call the spirit of the High Priestess." Lucrecia explained. "The ancient texts say, that if one stands at the High Altar with the knowledge of the Ancient Tongue in one's mind, the Heka in one's hand and the purest intentions in one's heart, she will come to those who call her. Please stand back, Cid."

Cid obediently stepped back and stood on the top step, backing off the actual Altar itself.

He watched and waited.

Lucrecia closed her eyes and knelt, clasping her hands together. Cid shivered. She looked just like the vision of Aeris he'd seen on the water screen that day they found the key to the music box...

For a long time, nothing happened.

In fact, nothing happened for a really long time. 

Just Lucrecia kneeling there, her lips working in some strange tongue.

Eventually, Cid was about to speak up about it, when there was a sound, like how a shaft of sunlight hitting a crystal might sound if it made a noise. Sort of like a CHRING. 

The Heka in Lucrecia's clasped hands began to glow, and a wind started to pick up from the surface of the lake below them. Lucrecia's long brown hair picked up in the wind and the shaft of light seemed to grow more intense...

Then silence.

"..."

Cid felt nervous. Something was here, something high, and powerful...

Then, a deep and powerful female voice boomed through the air, echoing from the delicate shimmering crystal. It was neither a voice nor a language that Cid recognised.

Lucrecia opened her eyes and spoke back to the stern voice in the same language, almost like she was pleading her case in an argument. 

The voice and Lucrecia held a lengthy exchange, and Cid felt fear. He had a gut feeling that this was something someone like him should not witness.

The voice, and the heavy presence, disappeared. Lucrecia groaned and sagged, holding her head.

"I'm not a Cetra... I shouldn't be doing this. They do not like it, and the energy may become too much for my body..." She murmured, gaining her composure just as Cid was going to ask her if she was okay.

"She will not speak to me, but she is sending someone who will."

Almost like it was marking her words, a soft golden light appeared behind her. Cid saw feathery white wings, then...

"Aeris?!" Cid gasped.

The Angel folded her wings. "Cid... hello again!" She smiled, then looked down at Lucrecia, who was kneeling still.

Lucrecia looked up at her, with such regret in her eyes. "You... You're the one that..."

Aeris looked down at Lucrecia with all the compassion of the Angel that she was. "You're his mother. I'm so sorry things happened the way they did. Please, don't feel bad... Sephiroth has found peace now. He is no longer full of madness or hate. He is part of the planet now, working to heal what he destroyed."

Lucrecia sniffed. A tear rolled down her face. "Is he?" She whispered. "My baby. I'm so glad. Even after all that he has done, I couldn't bear the thought of him... being alone and tormented. In a bad place. I'm selfish... but I just couldn't bear him suffering more, even after his death."

"I understand..." Aeris said, and she really meant it. "Now, what is it that you have come for?"

"I have come to perform the exchange." Lucrecia answered formally. 

Aeris lowered her eyelids. "That is a noble deed. The High Priestess has sent me as intermediary for the far-side. Are you the intermediary for the near-side?"

"I am." Lucrecia said, her voice set like concrete.

"And you know what it entails?" Asked Angel Aeris, her voice a little sad.

"I know."

"Then present your case to the hosts. If your call is strong enough, we shall accept your offering." She smiled and closed her eyes, looking like she was waiting for something.    

Lucrecia stood up and whirled around, fixing her slightly wild eyes onto Cid.

"Now, Cid! Tell me your love for Vincent!"

"What?!" Cid asked, holding his head. He was confused and distressed by it all, and something seemed to be working up into a peak. The very air crackled.

"Tell me how you miss him! Release your sorrow! Let it flow into me!" She shouted.

Then it dawned on Cid what was happening. Why he was here. Why he had been told to keep the Heka for a week...

"What are you going to do?!" He asked, his voice a strange mix of anguish and hope.

"Never mind that, Cid, Hurry! They won't listen for long!"

Somehow, Cid knew just what to do. Call it instinct, or anything you like, but he closed his eyes and began to pour out every ounce of sadness and regret and yearnings and love he had ever felt for Vincent, the anguish and despair inside him using his voice as a conduit to flow into the air surrounding them, and the Heka glowed brightly.

"It'll never go away! The pain! My heart feels like it's been torn from my chest and replaced with a fake, half of my soul has been torn away! I love him more than life itself... He WAS my life! Without him I'm nothing! His face haunts my dreams, his voice won't leave my head, his eyes... I can't bear being so alone, I love him so much..." The tears broke from his eyes, running down his face so freely and as painfully only as the first time since Vincent departed this world. "I want to hold him, I want to take him in my arms and kiss his hair," He sobbed. "I want him to say my name! I want to look into his beautiful eyes again and tell him it's okay... I want him back so badly... Vincent..." He could hardly get his words out, he fell to his knees, wracked with shaking sobs. He had never let go like this. The pain ripped through him and became manifest as the powerful raw emotions turned into energy and was absorbed into the Heka, clutched still to Lucrecia's shaking chest. Tears were running down her face too, but she was smiling...

Aeris still stood behind her at the altar, her wings outstretched and her hands out, as if monitoring the energy that was building all around them. Golden tears slowly fell down the Angel's ethereal face.

"Stop... it is sufficient." Aeris whispered.

Lucrecia smiled at Cid as he slowly looked up at her. "Thank you for helping me, Cid. I couldn't have done it without you. Your emotions made it possible." She stood up straight. "I hope I have brought some good into this world, after causing so much bad... I wish you all the best in the world, Cid."

She slowly raised the Heka above her head in both hands, her eyes closed. She smiled, a tear running down her face.

Cid realised at the last moment what she was going to do and he instinctively leapt up with a shout.

"Lucrecia!!"

Before he could reach her, she plunged the sharp blade-like edge of the Heka deep into her chest with a gasp.

There was shocked silence.

Her eyes became wide and she gasped as the Heka began to glow brightly once more. Blood started to run from her mouth and the wound in her chest.

Aeris stood still behind her, her eyes closed in pain. Did Angels feel the sorrow of memories too? Was this scene familiar to her?

"Lucrecia!!" Cid leapt up to the altar, and caught her just as she collapsed.

She lay back in his arms, coughing and struggling to get in a breath amidst the blood that was coming up her throat and spilling down her face.

"I... am... purged..." She whispered. She shakily lifted her head to look at the Heka embedded deeply in her heart, lifting trembling fingers to hover uselessly at its handle. She smiled a genuinely happy smile and laid her head back again, looking up into Cid's eyes. "Please... don't be sad or worried... it's what I have wanted for years and years. I will be with my baby again... and..." She stopped to cough. "I'm so proud that I was able to do it. Maybe I do have an Ancient soul after all. Now... you have to drop me into the water. Do it quickly."

Cid's eyes were still full of tears, and he shook his head, confused. He looked up at Aeris, who looked on sadly. "Why?! But why did you do this?!"

"It was an exchange. She knew what she was asking for from the beginning..." The Angel said quietly. "But now you must do as she says. Drop her into the water, or her sacrifice will be for nothing."

Cid looked again at Lucrecia, who nodded at him. "Hu.. Hurry, please..." She whispered.

Cid stood up, carrying the dying woman in his arms and stepped up to the top of the altar, where there was a drop into the beautiful waters below. He lingered still.

"Thank you... Cid." She whispered. And then, just at the same moment he let go, she whispered: 

"Take care of him."

Cid started with a shout and tried to catch her again after she had uttered those words, but it was too late, she fell and splashed into the waters below.


	8. Ray of Light

The room was instantly filled with the same winds and light as before, and Cid's eyes widened as he watched the water where Lucrecia fell... a white light was building beneath the surface, coalescing and escalating... 

The high energy in the air intensified... something big was happening, Cid could feel the energy in every part of him and the strange haunting cries in the winds culminated.

The glow turned into a piercing white glare as the huge body of light that had formed beneath the surface broke free and screamed up like a bolt of lightning to the roof of the cavern and beyond it, knocking Cid onto his back merely with the force of it shooting past him. He stared up as the winds whipped at his clothes and hair before gradually dying down again.

There was silence from him for a long time, his eyes fixed up at the top where the light had escaped the cavern.

"What... what the @#$% just happened?" He said after a while, his hands grabbing at his head.

Aeris still stood there at the Altar, unmoved. She looked at Cid, unbothered by his obscene outburst.

Cid scrambled over to her and looked up at her pleadingly. "Aeris... please will you tell me what's going on!? Why did Lucrecia just... and what was that light? What's going ON?!"

Aeris knelt so that her face was level with his. Once again he could see the inner light radiating from her angelic face. "The rite you have witnessed is called the Exchange, where if it is justified, a Cetra or one with knowledge of the Cetran language may come to this High Altar and pray for a sort of trial." She checked to see if Cid was following her. "The idea of the trial is that the wielder of the Heka sacrifices his or her own spirit energy to allow one soul from the Lifestream to break free and return to life."

Cid couldn't speak. He couldn't; his throat was dry and no thoughts were formed clearly enough in his head.

"Sh... she... for... for Vin....?"

Aeris nodded, smiling. She was delighted as Cid started to work it all out. She watched his face with underlying empathy as he managed to get words out.

"You see, the Planet and its Lifestream is very delicately balanced. There is always an equal amount of Life energy in living things and in the planet itself, that flows around the planet, enriching it with life. To remove one soul from one half and force it into the other would disrupt the balance, but if there is an exchange... it is frowned upon by the elders, though, so only one Exchange blade, the Heka, was ever made and it could only be used once. Lucrecia is now the only one who ever did and ever will perform the exchange again." She said, admiration in her eyes. "It was a noble deed."

Cid's eyes were filling with tears again. His life really was an emotional roller coaster. "She sacrificed herself... so Vin could have another chance..?" He whispered, his heart crying out it's agonized gratitude to Lucrecia's soul, wondering if she had found her long-lost son at last.

"Yes. The sacrifice had conditions that needed to be met... the Heka needed to be steeped in the energies of the coveted soul. That's why she gave it to you to keep for a week, your energies were mingled with Vincent's memories, and they passed into the Heka from you. Also, the soul that is to return needs to be willing. As Lucrecia was your representative, the conduit for your sorrow - I was Vincent's representative here. An intermediary. I asked him if he was willing to come back to you..."

Cid's heart tightened. What if he was happier where he was? "And?" He managed, his throat tight.

Aeris shook her head. Cid's heart lurched.

"I could hardly hold him back." She smiled at the relief that spread over Cid's broken and tear-streaked face. 

"Where was I? Oh yes. If the energies are right and both souls are willing to exchange, the High Priestess will listen to the case."

Cid shook his head, a tear running from his eye. "Damn... they didn't want this thing to happen a lot, did they..?"

"No, they didn't." Aeris replied, seriously. "I'm amazed they even allowed it to happen this once. Lucrecia told you to pour out your feelings of sadness and your love for Vincent so that they could judge whether the soul truly needed a second chance or not... You convinced them almost immediately. I felt their assent straight away. It was just."

Cid looked desperately into the Angel's gentle eyes. "I know everything now, but... where is he? Where's Vin? Is he coming here? How can I find him?" His eyes portrayed his fear. Fear of this all being a lie, or not being able to find him if it was all true.

Aeris laid her softly glowing hand on Cid's face. "Don't worry. Your heart will guide you to him. The Lifestream will recreate his physical form from the memories and the traces of him in your energy, and will fill it with his soul. Then, he will surface from the Lifestream, but I do not know where. I'm sorry."

Cid laughed softly in disbelief, his tears still coming strong. "I... I can't believe it... Vin's back..?"

Aeris smiled happily, feeling Cid's heart lift. "Please, never tell him that Lucrecia exchanged her life for his. He would not be able to bear it, and the last thing Lucrecia wanted was for him to suffer any more guilt. All of them are happy now, so don't say anything to him about it. Always keep what she did for you in your heart, don't forget her, but move on. You have a second chance now that no one has ever had before, so you owe it to her to be happy. Both of you." She smiled. "He never melded with the Lifestream, you know. He was supposed to, but he couldn't rest leaving you alone. But now... he will be back where he belongs, with the one who loves him." 

She stood up. "I must leave now, Cid." She smiled, as the pilot scrambled up as well. "Look for him. Search high and low, and never give up hope. Believe in him, and you will be drawn together again. You will find him. Take care of him when you do, okay?" She started to fade again, like she had back in the church in Midgar. "And will you tell Cloud that I love him? Goodbye..." With a last smile, she vanished in a corona of golden light. A single feather from one of her great white wings slowly drifted down in circles until it alighted onto the crystal of the Altar.

Cid was silent. He was alone in the sanctuary now, and his thoughts turned to Lucrecia and her final, noble act. She had finally redeemed herself in her own eyes, and Cid prayed with all his heart that she had found peace now that she was reunited with her son.

He looked at the feather, and reached out to touch it. It was tangible. He picked it up and put it in his now empty leather satchel, his heart revelling as he decided he would take it to Midgar and take it to Cloud with Vincent when he found him.

When he found Vincent.

He would be able to hold him again, to hear his voice... the longing in Cid's heart was immense. 

So, with a final silent thank you to Lucrecia, he took a last look at the Altar, where she had dropped into the water, and smiled as he descended from the pedestal.

He took his time going back up the crystal staircase, alone. He was desperate to start his search for his love, but he had a hunch that he wouldn't see this special place again, so he savoured the sights as he left.

***

Shera looked at the clock. She was worried; the captain had left early in the morning and now it was getting dark... he still wasn't back. She had repeatedly tried his PHS, but it wasn't being answered.

She hoped that he hadn't done something stupid... he was missing Vincent so badly, he was so depressed. There was a possibility that he might have decided to join him.

The thought was too frightening for her to pursue, but as time ticked on, it nagged at the back of her mind. It would just be too tragic if the grief of Vincent's loss drove him to take his own life...

She was getting seriously worried. She was just considering taking out the newly fixed Tiny Bronco to search for him when he walked in.

"Cid!!" Shera shouted, standing and running over to him. "Where have you been?! I've been worried sick!! I thought that you'd..." she didn't finish her sentence.

There was a strange light in his eyes, and he laid a hand upon her shoulder to calm her. He thought again how much she resembled Lucrecia. "Shera, it's okay. I wasn't going to do something stupid."

He remembered considering it though, in the past month. There had been a few times when he'd stood at the beach and seriously considered wading out into the sea, never to return.

He was very glad now that he hadn't; that he'd been strong, because now he was to be rewarded for it.

"Cid, where have you been?!" Shera repeated, angry that he'd put her through such worry.

"I... went to visit an old friend. We got talking, I didn't expect I'd be gone so long. Sorry if I worried you." Well, it was mostly true, wasn't it? He didn't want to say to Shera what had happened at the capital, in case anything went wrong and...

No, he didn't want to think about it. Just don't think, don't think. 

"I wish you'd phone me to at least tell me where you are! You've been gone all day, I was going out of my mind with worry!"

Cid smiled at her. Her eyes widened a little. He was smiling... he hadn't smiled like that, since...

"Shera... I've had a pretty tiring day... do you mind if I go up to bed? I'm sorry I worried you. It was just so important, and I lost track of time..."

She smiled back, though it was a weary smile. "It's fine, I'm sorry for yelling at you." She sighed. It was the first time _she'd_ ever yelled at _him_. "Yeah, you look tired. Go on to bed."

He squeezed her shoulder and walked past her up the stairs, taking off his jacket as he went.

Cid found it very hard to sleep that night. 

There were so many things that he had to think about... so many things were running energetically about his tired mind. 

Vincent... he _would_ find him. An Angel had promised him so, and Angels don't lie.

Aeris. She deserved a second chance, too... but she had a job to do now and couldn't come back even if she wanted to. Cid had a feeling she liked her new job, watching over people, helping them... 

He turned his head as he lay in bed to look at the leather satchel containing her feather, hung up on the bedpost. The feather was like a promise, that he and Vincent would give the feather to Cloud together. Until that day, it would remain where it was as a promise that he would find Vincent.

He wondered if Vincent would look any different. No more Jenova cells... would his eyes be a different colour? But all his memories of Vincent were of how he'd looked in the happier days, when they were all still in AVALANCHE, so if Vincent's form was to be made from his memories, he would look just the same as ever. Still as beautiful.

"So, you're out there, Vin..." Cid whispered, turning over. "But where? Aeris said to believe in you." He smiled. "I believe in you. I want to see you again so much... I'd give anything just to find you."

Slowly, he drifted off to sleep, with Vincent's red headband coiled around his hand.

**


	9. Fading

Shera took Cid up his usual cup of tea the next morning, grateful that he hadn't left yet like the previous morning. She walked in to a sight that upset her.

Cid was up already, and he was kneeling at a chest of drawers, pulling out of them all of Vincent's clothes that were still in them and not in boxes, smiling to himself and inhaling their scent every now and then. He started shaking them out and putting them in the ironing basket.

"Cid..." She said quietly, a lump in her throat. "What are you doing?" She put the cup down on the dresser. 

"I'm gonna iron all of Vin's clothes." He said cheerily. 

"But... why?" She asked, upset.

"I can't tell you yet." He said, simply.

"Oh Cid..." She laid her hand on his shoulder before running from the room, almost in tears. He had lost his mind... the grief had become too much. What should she do? Should she call a doctor or a counsellor? She should definitely inform his friends. 

So, later on as Cid had begun ironing out all of the clothes in Vincent's old drawer, she started to phone Cloud, Barret and the rest of the old team, telling them that Cid had finally buckled under the strain.

Cid knew what she thought, but he didn't care, not now. He had more important things to do. So, once he'd finished ironing all the clothes (even the ones he'd put in boxes a few weeks ago) and put the entire lot back into their drawers and thrown the empty boxes into the junk shed, be began putting fresh sheets on the bed and changing the heavy drapes to lighter curtains.

When he'd finished sprucing up the room and tidying it at last, he took a step back to admire his hard work. It was special for Vincent for when he came back.

Now all he had to do was search for him.

So Cid would go out in the Highwind every day for hours on end, searching all the places he thought it likely that  the Lifestream would flow. 

The North Crater, near Mideel, Midgar, near all the old reactors, even Nibelheim and Cosmo Canyon.

But there was no trace of Vincent Valentine at any of them.

Days turned into weeks, and still Cid could not find him. He never gave up hope, often searching the same place over and over in short spaces of time, in case he'd missed anything.

He'd searched Nibelheim Mansion a few times, knowing that was where Vincent had been found the first time. Upon exploring it, he found the basement room where Vincent had been trapped for thirty years. It was the first time he had ever seen it, and he was touched by a sense of horror as he touched the satin lining of the coffin that Vincent had once slept in. It was horrible, somehow.

But even though he searched there and in the library as well, there was still no trace of him. 

Eventually he even tried the City of the Ancients again, but he could never again get inside the large central structure; some unknown force held the doors shut and they were never to be opened again.

Sometimes he visited the old church in Midgar, hoping Aeris would appear again and guide him further, but she did not. The church seemed empty now, except for the flowers of course.

He would come home to Shera every night, exhausted from searching so extensively. She did not understand why he did, or where he went, but she was just glad that he came home. She stopped asking him questions after a while, because he never answered them anyway and she felt the questions irritated him. 

Months passed since the events at the City of the Ancients with Lucrecia, and the bitter cold of winter gave way to the new hope of spring. Seedlings that were sleeping under the ground burst from the soil to greet the growing sunlight, and leaves stretched out from the new green shoots on trees to give their salutations to the welcome sun. The days lengthened and the chill left the air to be replaced with gentle warmth and brightness.

The warmer days came, and Shera was glad of the change. The colder months had chilled them all and she was looking forward to the young spring giving them all back some hope for the future. It had been a bad winter for everyone.

Cid eventually started to lose hope of ever finding Vincent.

It had been months now, and not even a trace... he started to go out searching less and less, and eventually he stopped going altogether, his hope shredded.

Shera noticed the change in him, but she did not know why. He hardly ever opened up to her now like he had when Vincent had first passed away all those months ago, but he had now regained most of the sadness that he had back then. She didn't understand. Why all that effort to keep the house nice when he finally came back that day he had gone missing? He'd ironed out and folded all of Vincent's clothes and put them back in the drawers, when it had taken a huge effort to bring himself to put some of them in boxes just a few weeks previous to it.

She just wished Cid could start to put it behind him and ...

And what? Move on? How could he move on after only six months ago losing the love of his life to a slow and unstoppable death? Who could know what turmoil his mind must be going through, she thought.

"I won't question him anymore," She decided one day whilst alone in the kitchen. "He just needs me here, and I'll be there for him, no matter what. That's all that matters now."

It was a week since Cid had given up searching for Vincent, and he was feeling so low and forlorn.

It had been months since Aeris had told him to search... months! And nothing! Cid was certain that he'd scoured every corner of the planet, searching desperately for the one he loved. 

He'd travelled alone through valleys, over snow-covered mountains, calling his name over and over... once he'd been gone a whole week without coming home. 

'Shera must be worried sick about me, and she doesn't even ask me why I do it. It's so unfair on her, but I can't help it...' 

So eventually, though it broke his heart to realise it, he decided that Vincent wasn't coming back.

'It was stupid of me to go along with it anyway...' he thought, lying in bed, depressed out of all control.

'You can't come back from the dead.' A small voice in the back of Cid's head told him that Vincent had done it before...  'That's different,' he argued back in his mind. 'It was the Jenova cells. And they don't exist anymore...' his eyes filled up. 'And neither does he.'

He curled up on the bed, and drifted off to sleep with tears in his eyes.

Cid woke up with a start. He did that a lot, to wake up thinking the whole long ordeal was a dream, reaching out to hold Vincent only to find he wasn't there.

He sat up, rubbing his stubbled face with his hands. He looked at the window and it was still fairly bright... he looked at his watch and saw that it was six pm. 

He swung his legs over the bed and sat for a moment, his feet on the floor and his head in his hands. The only sound was the clock ticking on the wall. He'd listened to that a lot over the months; the monotonous clicking as the seconds fell precisely and unstoppably after one another. He'd wished countless times that the clock had magic powers and he could turn back time like the hands of a clock.

He thought after a while that he had neglected putting flowers out to sea these past months, as he'd been fooled into thinking Vincent wasn't dead. He felt sadness and shame at the thought of neglecting Vincent's lonely spirit to chase after some stupid childish hope.

He stood and dressed, leaving the room in a less than tidy state.

Shera was watching the news as Cid clumped down the stairs, his very footfalls revealing his mood. She sighed.

"Shera, I'm goin' to the beach. I'll see ya later." With that, he left the house, shutting the door behind him with almost a slam.

'Well, good...' Shera thought. 'He hasn't taken Vincent flowers for months... maybe this means he's coming to terms with it?'

She shook her head and flipped the channels.

**


	10. Strength of Heart

This chappie is very short.

I know, I know, I'm pathetic. :-P

~~~~~~~

Cid stood alone at the shoreline, holding the small bunch of flowers loosely in his hand.

Looking out at the gently rolling waves, listening to the lonely breakers washing against the beach...

It had been a long time. He only hoped that Vincent would understand that it was because he loved him so much that he had been so desperate to believe it was true. 

Maybe he did lose his mind... maybe it had all been a dream. He couldn't tell what was real anymore. Sometimes he'd dream of Vincent, who would laugh and tell Cid that he'd been silly and that there was nothing wrong with him at all, that he was fine... it had all been a bad dream...

But then he'd wake up to find that had been a dream. It was horrible.

"I miss you, baby..." Cid whispered under the crashing of the waves. "I'd do anything to see you again. They told me to look for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere. Was I dreaming..? I wish this was a dream, and that really I'm lying in bed with your arms around me, that this is just some really long nightmare..."

He sighed, and lifted the flowers to look at them. He stroked the delicate petals and took in their scent before casting them as hard as he could into the sea.

"They're for you, Vin. I know it's been a while, so I put a lot into that bunch. I hope you forgive me for neglecting you..."

He watched the flowers slowly bob away into the distant waves, the light of the golden sunset warming his features. 

He bowed his head, taking a deep breath. He couldn't take it, he really couldn't. 

Believe in him, Aeris had said. 

Dragging in a deep breath, Cid screamed out at the top of his lungs. "I BELIEVE IN YOU!"  His shoulders began to shake with the start of sobs. "Please... please come back to me! I love you so much... I want you back so bad, Vin! Please! I'd give anything just to find you!" He shouted, from his heart.

He collapsed onto the sand with his effort, sobbing, though the tears just didn't come. 

He stared out at the sea. 

He couldn't take his eyes off the waves for such a long time, and his soul called out to the ocean.

"Come back..." He whispered finally, with such passion it wrenched his heart to make the sounds.

His eyes found the bunch of flowers he'd thrown earlier, and his blighted eyes watched them as they rolled with the gentle waves.

Hang on. There's something else by the flowers. 

Cid stared for a while, not being able to make out what was drifting along with the flowers so far into the distant waves. Afterwards, he could never explain why he did it, but he waded into the water and swam over to it, deep into the stronger tides.

He almost drowned getting to it, but he didn't care. He was dead inside anyway.

But somehow, he overcame all of the waves and caught up with the drifting flowers.

There was so much water in Cid's eyes that he couldn't make out exactly, but he was shocked to find it was a person, drifting limply with the tide. Not wasting any time, Cid hauled the figure over his back and swam back as best he could to the shore.

He was amazed for a second time that he didn't drown on the way back, and panting he hurriedly laid his dripping charge onto the soft yellow sand. He wished he'd thought to put on his goggles before he'd charged on into the stinging, salty water. He wiped his eyes on his sodden jacket sleeve and looked at the still form underneath him.

Tall, slender and naked, with long wet black hair plastered over the face.

His heartbeat thundered in his ears. 

He slowly reached out with a shaking hand to pull the hair away from the hidden face...

"Oh..." Cid's eyes immediately filled with tears and he started to weep.

It was Vincent.

"Vin!" Cid cried, cradling the pale face in his hands. "Vin!" Breathing hard, Cid panicked and laid his head against Vincent's chest, and cried with relief to hear a steady heartbeat. 

Tears streamed from his eyes as he quickly turned Vincent over and pumped at his back to expel any water from Vincent's lungs. Eventually, Vincent spluttered water all over the sand, but did not regain consciousness. Cid hurriedly turned him over and gave Vincent the kiss of life.

After three tries, Vincent's eyes flew open and he started choking.

"It's okay, it's okay..." Cid whispered, weeping still as he pulled the still coughing Vincent up against him into a hunched sitting position, Vincent's chin hanging over Cid's shoulder.

"Vin... it's okay, baby..." Cid whispered again, his voice tight with sobbing, and he clutched Vincent tight to his chest, burying his face, wet with tears and seawater both, into Vincent's mass of wet black hair, never wanting to let go. 

Vincent seemed somewhat confused and delirious at first, but he squeezed Cid back as hard as he could.

For a long time, they merely sat there, on the beach in the red sunset glow, clinging desperately to each other as tight as they could and rocking slowly.

Eventually, they both leaned back and Cid stared into Vincent's deep beautiful eyes for the first time in so long... 

"I found you..." he whispered with a shaky voice, his trembling fingers tracing Vincent's face.

Vincent looked so happy, and he laughed softly at Cid, tears also falling from his eyes. "You found me."

"I've missed you so much.. _so much_... I've wanted to hold you, to hear your voice, to smell your hair again... I've been so lonely since you went away. I love you, I can't live without you. You complete me..." Cid wept, caressing Vincent's face and wiping away the tears that fell from his crimson eyes. 

Vincent's lips pressed together and he leaned his head against Cid's, sighing out heavily and taking Cid's hands in his own.

"I couldn't rest. I couldn't rest without you..." Vincent whispered, his face caressing Cid's.

"I watched over you every day from afar, and... I couldn't bear to see you in so much pain. I begged for them to let me see you, just once... even in a dream... but they refused. Then, Aeris told me about the exchange... that I could come back to you. I didn't care how, I just had to come back to you..."

Cid held the back of Vincent's head with his hand and kissed his lips gently. "You're back now, you're back... nothing else matters..."

Vincent smiled. "I know... I was waiting for you to call me home. It was what I needed to come back, and though you searched all over for me, I was always by your side."

Cid closed his eyes. "Why didn't I think of it before...? I thought you'd wash up somewhere where the Lifestream comes up... but you came where I called you home."

Vincent nodded gently, a tear rolling down his pale cheek. "You called me home."

"I love you." Cid whispered. They kissed. Their kiss was gentle and full of love, making up for such a long time apart. Their hearts grew wings again as they  held each other, their kiss a breath of life and their souls found salvation in love.

That was the true kiss of life.

~~~~~~~~

Told ya I'm pathetic. Sorry, angst whores! ^_^;;


	11. Home

The warm red light of the sunset grew deeper and the clouds took on a crimson glow, the tides washing gently over the sandy shore.

Eventually, they broke from their reverie and Cid looked around. It was almost dark, and despite it being spring it was still not warm enough to be damp and naked at night.

"We've gotta find you something to wrap up in..." Cid said, holding Vincent to him. He was very reluctant to let him go.

Vincent just smiled, holding Cid's hand tightly.

Cid looked around, but saw nothing. "Hmm." He stood up and peeled off his wet jacket. "I'm wearing shorts under my pants, and a shirt under this, so you can put 'em on. They're soaking wet but at least you'll be wearing something..." He dropped the jacket onto Vincent's waiting hands and began to unbuckle his pants.

Vincent began to pull on the jacket. He shivered as the soaking material cooled his skin.

Cid stepped out of his dark green pants, darkened further still by the water held within the fibres. "There y'are, that should do it." 

Vincent stood up and pulled on the pants, cringing slightly again as the wet material dragged up his legs with some resistance. After buttoning them up, he smiled at Cid, and Cid smiled back.

"What a pair we look." Vincent smiled.

It was true; Cid in his wet tee-shirt and shorts, still wearing his brown boots, and Vincent wearing a soggy flight jacket and pants that weren't meant for the long legs that he had. They almost came up to the middle of his shins.

"Not a @#$%in' word, Valentine," Cid warned, trying not to smile. 

Vincent closed the distance between them and kissed Cid soundly on the lips. "Not a word."

"Good!" He grunted. "Well, now that we're all set and look like complete assholes, should we be on our way?"

***

Cid and Vincent walked slowly back to the house in Rocket Town, their arms looped about each other's waists.

Cid couldn't stop turning his head as he walked to look at Vincent; living, walking and here with him again. It seemed too good to be true. 

But it was true, and Vincent felt very real to Cid as he clutched the pale man to his side as they walked.

He was strong, like he was when they'd gone on their journeys together in AVALANCHE, so unlike the frail shell he had become when he had been ill.

He walked now with tall, effortless strides and that undeniable sense of dignity that had always been a part of him, except he smiled now. He smiled a lot, and somehow it made him even more perfect.

Cid was smiling a lot, too.

He wondered, though, how Shera was going to react when they just strolled into the house together.

Actually, she did just what Cid expected she would do...

She opened her mouth to admonish Cid for being out late again, and then... she passed out.

"Shera, Shera!! Answer me, for @#$%'s sake! Open your @#$%in' eyes!"

"Shera, are you all right?"

Shera groaned. She was going insane. She had heard Cid's voice, and someone coming in through the door... but when she looked, she had seen Vincent, wearing Cid's clothes.

"Cid... I think I'm hallucinating..." She groaned as she came to, her eyes still closed. She frowned. She could hear two voices speaking to her, one was Cid's, and the other... so familiar...

It sounded like Vincent's voice, low and calm. Well spoken. She was still hallucinating! 

"Cid, help me..." She whimpered. "I'm seeing things... I'm hearing things! I'm not well..." She sat up and opened her eyes to find herself looking into the blood crimson eyes of Vincent Valentine.

"AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!" She screamed.

"Shera!! Shera!! It's okay, calm down!!" Cid grabbed her shoulders as she desperately tried to back away from Vincent. "SHERA!! Calm the @#$% down, willya?!"

Shera instinctively cowed under the force of Cid's yelling, but whimpered and clawed at his shirt.

"Cid... Cid... it's a ghost... can you see him?! But... he's dead!! He's dead!!" She was shaking.

Vincent reached out to touch her arm with his left hand, to calm her. It was then that Cid noticed it was flesh, and not a claw.

Shera instantly recoiled from his touch. "Stay away!"  

"Shera, it's not a ghost!" He shouted. "It's Vin! He's back!"

"B...but he can't be... I - I saw him, he..."

"...He's got a second chance," Cid finished her sentence for her, gently taking her shoulders in his hands.

"He's home."

***

Cid woke up with a start. "Huh?! Ugh... not again. Vin, you awake? ... I wish that didn't keep happening. I..." Then he received that familiar sensation almost like a kick to the stomach of realising that Vincent wasn't there.

"It's okay, Cid. Come here."

Cid felt familiar slim arms curling around him, pulling him close.

Cid squeezed his eyes shut and smiled, as he welcomed the embrace.

He'd forgotten for a brief moment that now, Vincent _was_ there.

"Vin... You're really here... I was expecting it all to be a dream..." Cid whispered as he traced over Vincent's skin with his fingers.

Vincent kissed Cid softly. "Yes," he breathed, resting his lips against Cid's temple. "I'm here. And I love you."

Cid let out a breath and closed his eyes, holding Vincent tightly to him as they lay there in the darkness. "You can't know how I've longed to hear that these past winter months. I prayed and prayed even for just a dream of you, just so I could hear your voice... I missed you so bad. I thought of killing myself a couple of times, but I know I'd probably go to hell," Cid laughed. "And there's no way you'd go anywhere else but heaven, so I was afraid of becoming even more separated from you than I already was, if you understand that?"

Vincent shook his head. "It couldn't happen. The only thing that counts for anything on the other side is love." Vincent smiled. "And you gave me so much of that. I couldn't ever forget."

Cid felt a tear roll down his cheek and he caressed Vincent's face tenderly. "Have I done a bad thing, Vin? Taking you from that special place, just because I couldn't live without you?"

"No." Vincent whispered, his eyes full of love. "There's nowhere I'd rather be than with you. To me, _this_ is heaven. Right here in your arms."

Cid squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Vincent's hair. His emotions were overwhelming him, and the feelings flooding his heart were almost as painful as the grief he had once felt. But this was beautiful. It was good pain. 

He felt Vincent's hands stroking over his pale spiky hair, and suddenly remembered something that he had noticed earlier.

Cid pulled back from Vincent gently and took his left hand between his own. It was flesh, not that metal claw...

"Vin... you've got two hands..." He ran gentle fingers over the slim pale digits of Vincent's left hand, softly marvelling at this one part of Vincent that he'd never seen before. It was perfect, just like his right hand, and Cid laid light kisses over the knuckles and the palm and the fingers and the wrist, almost as if he was introducing himself to these new parts of the one he loved. He smiled at Vincent and smiled back down at the hand, stroking it still. 

Vincent's hand gently released itself from Cid's and moved up to rest on Cid's face. He leaned over and kissed Cid very gently on the lips. 

The touch of lips to lips lingered for a long moment, and just that small thing meant so much to both of them.  

*

Whew. That's as far as I've gotten for now. Epilogue chapter comin' up, with a few extras tacked on at the end. Kinda like a bonus DVD extra footage thingy. ^_^  Including the making of and a soundtrack!! 


	12. The Last Epilogue

Cloud sat on the couch in his apartment in Midgar, idly flicking through the TV channels, waiting for Tifa to return from Barret's place. She'd been a while, and he was starting to miss the familiar sound of her voice ringing through the place.

Cloud found it hard to be on his own for long these days. Too much time alone was too much time to think, and memories of the past were eager to rush in and torment when they could.

Cloud sighed and flung the remote control at the far wall, scrubbing at his face with his hands.

The place was too quiet.

He'd been thinking of Aeris a lot this week for some reason. Sometimes the girl's face would just appear in his thoughts or dreams without reason, but this week it had been almost every day.

Sometimes Cloud felt like he was just using Tifa to help his feelings for Aeris subside, if that could ever happen. Tifa loved him, there was no doubt, but he could never work out whether his feelings for her were love or simply need and dependency.

He sometimes wondered if she knew this.

He sat in silence for a while, for once tentatively allowing his mind to roll over the past instead of jerking away from it like he often did, locking it all firmly into a locked box at the back of his mind. He softly wondered that even now, so long after it had all happened, the brutal horror of seeing the frail and gentle flower girl being butchered mere inches away from his very eyes, and knowing that he not only could do nothing about it, but also that it had been a fraction away from being him with a bloodied sword in his sweating palms.

The way her eyes glazed over in shock and pain - then becoming hollow and vacant as the life left her body in a whispering sigh. Even now, Cloud felt tears rolling down his face.

Pain.

It was unbearable.

"I've got to... do something, got to..." He mumbled to himself, running his shaking hands through his hair. He closed his eyes, but then he saw Sephiroth's blazing mako eyes glaring malignantly at him, stripping his soul bare.

His eyes snapped open, and he found himself trembling. He was still afraid of Sephiroth and though he was dead, he still haunted Cloud in innumerable ways. Cloud cringed inwardly with shame amidst his anguish. He'd never been strong, and he believed that in a way it was his fault that Aeris had died.

He strode into the bathroom and began washing his face. He needed to pull it together before Tifa got back, she'd be worried about him.

He sat on the edge of the bath, taking a deep breath. Wiping his hands on his pants, he looked in the large mirror hanging on the wall. His eyes looked a bit puffy and there were a few dark rings around them, but this was normal for him these days. Ever since the end of the ordeal with Sephiroth, he'd never really been the same. But full recovery from something like that is the stuff of fairy tales.

"And they all lived happily ever after..." Cloud whispered at his own pale reflection, his thoughts passing over all his old friends that had also suffered their lot.

Like poor Cid. Cid alone knew what Cloud felt. He only hoped that Cid had found more peace than he had.

He stood up and made his way back to the living room of the small apartment, but as he passed the front door there was a knock.

"Forgot your keys again, Tifa?" He mumbled as he went to open the door.

He didn't expect to see Cid standing there.

"Oh... Cid. Hi. I was just thinking about you." Cloud said quietly, his body exuding weariness.

Cid was about to speak, but instead stopped to look at Cloud concernedly.

"Hey, you ok, pal? You sure look beat."

"No, I'm fine." Cloud said, straightening his shoulders. "What about you, are you holding up okay?"

Cid couldn't help but smile a little bit as he lowered his head. "Uh, yeah. I'm doin' fine. Look, Cloud... a lot of stuff's happened since we last spoke, and uh... I met an old friend of yours who left somethin' for ya. I made a promise to myself that I'd bring it to ya with someone when I saw 'em again. So, uh - here we are!" He smiled at someone who was out of sight to Cloud who was standing well inside the doorway.

If Cloud had not expected to see Cid when he opened the door, then he definitely did not expect to see Vincent Valentine standing beside him.

Cloud stepped back a step in shock, staring at the tall dark haired man in disbelief. He looked different, sure - No red cloak, no claw, no headband, hair tied back loosely - but it was still Vincent. Even with his hair tied back strands of midnight black hair still fell rebelliously about his angelical pale face.

Cloud couldn't speak, but looked wordlessly in confusion from one to the other.

Vincent cast a gentle, thoughtful glance over Cloud Strife. He'd not seen the blond young man in so long.

Not since... he had been ill. 

The last time he'd seen Cloud while healthy, like he was now, was... when Sephiroth had been defeated. So long ago now...

"I... don't..." Cloud stammered, staring at the man with crimson eyes, disbelieving his own.

"It's a long story..." Said Cid gently. "Can we come in? I'm freezing my ass off out here."

It took a long time for them to explain to Cloud what had happened, it took even longer for it to sink in.

He was still mulling it over as they were leaving, he kept staring at Vincent as though he wasn't really there and he was imagining him.

"Cid," Said Vincent in his familiar soft-spoken manner as they were just going out the door. "Have't you forgotten something?"

Cid frowned and opened his mouth, then something dawned on him. "Oh shit, I almost forgot. It's why we came here in the first place! Well, here ya go, bud. It's from you-know-who. We gotta run, we've got a train to catch! See ya!"

"Bye, Cloud." Vincent smiled at him as the bemused Cloud watched them walk away towards the sector station. Then he looked down at a small drawstring bad that Cid had handed to him carefully.

He backed inside and shut the door, taking the bag with him to the sofa. He sat down slowly, turning the bag over in his hands. gradually, he pulled loose the string knot that held it closed and peered inside.

It was a single large white feather.

"Well, that went well!" Cid grinned as he sat with Vincent on their own sofa in Rocket town.

"You didn't tell poor Cloud what it was, Cid." Vincent chided gently.

"Ahh, he'll know." Cid waved his hand dismissively. "Anyway, Cid Highwind is a man of his word. I always keep promises, no matter how useless they are!"

"They must miss each other terribly..." Vincent sighed pensively.

"Who?"

Vincent cuffed Cid lightly on the arm. "Cloud and Aeris."

"Oh, yeah." Cid said seriously. He was quiet for a long moment as they sat in companionable silence. "Vin..?" He asked at length.

Vincent turned his head to look at Cid.

"I've been thinking... now that you're with me, and everything's back to normal, I just wanted to check with you that... well," He scratched his head.

"What is it? "Vincent asked.

"You've got a life now. A proper one. No weird Jenova cells, no illness, no pain, no guilt... you've got back what you had before you met that-- well, before you joined Shinra. Are you sure that.. that you're happy being stuck here with me? I mean, I love you so much and we've been through everything together, it'd kill me to see you leave but I wouldn't stop ya because I know how much you probably want to get out there, to live--"

He was stopped in mid sentence as Vincent's slender hand clamped gently but firmly over his mouth.

"Cid," He began, his face full of seriousness but also tender. "You taught me how to love, you taught me how to care, you taught me how to be happy, and you taught me what it is to live. And when my time was taken away from me, you made the impossible possible, you gave me more. You are the other half of my heart, Cid Highwind, and I cannot live without you." He took his hand away from Cid's mouth and replaced it gently with his lips.

After a gentle kiss, Vincent leaned back again to discover there was a single tear trickling down Cid's face, was full of tenderness. Vincent knew then that their love was so strong that nothing could break it.

Not even death.

BREATH OF LIFE  ---  THE END


End file.
